This week: Sid Vicious remembered, smokin' Spaceshits, diaper controversy.

Plus: God is a Greek!

"edited" by AL SOUTH

sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT

M So Corey Hart finally did it. Being the little traitor that he is, the guy now sings in French for the French people. I guess he needs more money to keep his new wife in clothes and RINGS and stuff because her own career is going so badly. Poor little rich boy. [BLEEP!]

F This is to all you idiots out there who still listen to rock 'n' roll music--especially the most USELESS music that ever graced the earth: heavy metal. Are you people ever going to wake up and realize that the music you love so much is nothing more than useless, recycled shit? How many times can you people keep listening to the same old beats and the same stupid guitar chords? You uneducated, head-banging, machine-shop-working simpletons should just open your minds for a second and start listening to drum&bass--get with it! I would be so embarrassed if I were one of you people. Get some new clothes and go out to Sona or something and find out what you've been missing while you've been hiding your ugly, pimple-faces in the sand. Just try not to come out on Thursdays, which is the night when I like to go there. Drum&bass is king! See ya. [BLEEP!]

M This is (someone claiming to be) Neil from the Tragically Hip sound crew and I'd just like to thank Montreal for all they did for us. The show went great. Thanks. [BLEEP!]

M I just want to say that I'm really, really disappointed with the turn-out for the Reggae Cowboys concert. What a lame, lame crowd. There weren't more than 60 people out to support this great, great band. I'm really, really disappointed. [BLEEP!]

M This rant goes out to the Spaceshits. I'm (claiming to be) the guy who bad-mouthed you on the Internet last year and I'm just calling in to apologize. That was a year ago and I've since learned that you are all a bunch of really nice guys and your record is a real SMOKING piece of wax! It was a mistake for me to judge the whole band solely on the strength of one performance. It was really stupid and I guess that I'm a bit of an asshole. I'm sorry. Now I think that everyone ought to buy your new album when it comes out and go see you whenever you play. Later. [BLEEP!]

M How come I don't see any mention anywhere in the media of the fact that it's been 20 years this Tuesday since Sid Vicious died? Has Montreal turned from a punk rock town to a CRACKPOT town? Eh? Aw shit, forget it! [BLEEP!]

M This is to the woman who likes to bring the Rant Line home with her for her dogs to piss on. Okay, listen, life is an ACRONYM, girl. Live in it fully every day. Try and have some fun, girl. The Rant Line is about having fun, so stop being so prissy, little miss, and just relax and have a laugh. Really, it'll do you some good. Besides, if the most fun you have is bringing home the Mirror for your dog to piss on, I feel sorry for you. You're probably going to die pretty young. Ta, ta, everyone. [BLEEP!]

M This is to the diaper-wearing guy who was complaining about the state of the Montreal fetish scene. Look pal, if you're wearing diapers, nobody wants that around, man. You just seem like a BIG BABY complaining about people making fun of you. Maybe you should just stay at home on your Mammy's knee, you strange, strange man. [BLEEP!]

F This is for the baby in the diaper and all the other freaks out there. As someone who can be a freak now and then myself I wanna say: please, get over yourself, okay? If you want to walk down the street in diapers then that's fine, but you know damn well that when you step outside your door people are going to look and they're going to fucking laugh. That's part of your thrill so stop your whining. [BLEEP!]

M Oh, I feel so sorry for the little baby-man in his diapers. Poor little BABY-MAN. Make-y pot-ee from his BUM-BUM. Nutcase! What planet do all these fucking people who call in to the Rant Line come from? [BLEEP!]

F This rant goes out to all those idiots who paint their tags all over the metro stations. You're worse than elementary school kids who write their names on bathroom walls. You slobs make me sick. Can't you find somewhere else to leave your stupid, little, self-centred, egotistical "art" than in the only place that we have managed to keep clean from you bored delinquent idiots? Put your supposed talents to something worthwhile for a change. Nobody is impressed! [BLEEP!]

M Hi, this is Ross and I've been looking all over for a complete Darth Vader costume and I can't find one. If anyone knows any place where I can get one, please rant back. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Who is this bitch saying that Greek is a sexist language? You are a sexist language, you bitch! God is a Greek and we are the greatest people on the fucking earth. You fucking anti-Greek guys out there better be careful 'coz us Greeks are going to get together and steal all your women. (shouting) GREECE! [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum