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Valentine's slumber party massacre >> Snuggling up to the Prissteens' Lori Yorkman by JOHNSON CUMMINS
Mirror: Are you excited about this upcoming Valentine's Day? Lori Yorkman: Kind of. I haven't really come to terms with my romantic side yet. M: No romantic Valentine days in the past? LY: Well, guys have given me heart-shaped boxes with candy. That's pretty cool. This year we're playing at home in New York on Valentine's, so who knows what's going to happen. M: Are you planning anything romantic with a special someone after your Valentine show? LY: I'm the most unromantic woman I can think of, so no, I'm not. You know those guys who roll over and go to sleep after sex? M: I think I might've read something... LY: Well, after sex I just want the guy to turn into a good sitcom or something. M: Yeah, or have you ever had this thing I like to call "coyote arm"? Y'know when a one night stand falls asleep on your arm and you want to chew your arm off so you don't wake her up when you leave. Y'know, like when you end up putting your pants on in the hallway... LY: What? M: Uh, nothing. (embarrassing pause) Hey, If your love life was a sitcom, which one would it be like? LY: Right now my love life is much more of a melodrama, like 90210 or something. M: Girlfriend, you're a mess. If you could pick a famous Valentine, who would it be? LY: Without a doubt it would have to be Steve McQueen. If it were my perfect Valentine, I would have to know that me and Steve McQueen would have sex. M: Okay, let's build the ultimate Valentine Frankenstein. What other people would you like mixed in with your Steve McQueen? LY: Well, I would love Donald Trump's finances, Woody Allen's sense of humour and Brad Pitt's stomach. M: Well, I can understand Brad Pitt's stomach, as you could wash your laundry on it, but Woody Allen?! At Jailhouse Rock with the Daylight Lovers, Tuesday, February 16, 9pm, $5
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Talking about love stuff with Lori Yorkman, lead singer of pop-punkers the Prissteens, was like getting a sneak peak at the mysterious world of the all-girl slumber party. I just closed my eyes and imagined my new Judy Blume world, with Lori and I together in an pink-walled room. We take a flashlight under the covers of her canopied bed and discuss the romantic holiday known as St. Valentine's Day (due to space constrictions the Ralph Macchio and Scott Baio portions were edited out).