Mistaken Asians, infantile apparitions and sub-zero sex by SCOTT C Well, here we are two weeks into the new year and even though the cold dead of winter can be numbing at times, we're all thinking about sex. You know it. In the next two months, a lot of cold, horny people will get a whole lot of work done in the bedroom or wherever you choose to dispel the winter blahs. In light of this fact, what follows is a short list aimed at making sure we all stay warm. 1. A good fireplace will produce naked bodies on any night of the week. 2. A nice aromatic massage will break the ice, if not melt it altogether. 3. Smell people. Sounds weird, but if you open your nose to the possibilities, you could find yourself in a ferociously sensual situation. 4. Make a mixtape that can be used for both casual listening and pornographic afternoons (very important). 5. If you want to get laid, be straight up, 'cause once it warms up this shit is not going to work. >>> Speaking of smelly folk, I was talking to my man Simahlak about the TableTurns Turntablist Open that went down at Bar Fly on Saturday night. The event was packed out--which isn't too hard if you've ever been to Bar Fly--but it's not like a show like this couldn't fill a bigger venue. Apparently, Tri-State DJ and member of the 5th Platoon, Roli Rho, destroyed the decks in an awesome display of beat juggling prowess. A-Trak and DJ Blast also held it down respectably on the hometown front. Simahlak also griped about both him and DJ P-Love being mistaken for Kid Koala, who was also present. C'mon kids, take a closer look and get your deck-wrecking, ambidextrous Asians straight! >>> Last week I came this close to interviewing Ghostface Killer from the Wu-Tang Clan, who has a new album dropping sometime in the coming weeks. After a lot of phone calls, a little bit of waiting and many listens to the three-song sampler I got from the label, the interview was postponed. Not because the label was "unable to locate the artist" or because "he was really tired after a long day of phoners" or even the classic Wu Tang killer, "he was picked up by the police on an unknown charge." No sir, Ghostface's wife went into labour about an hour before our phone time, making it impossible for us to chat. Wonder what he'll name it? Ghostface Baby? Babyface Killer? Or maybe just GhostBaby... Our new interview is supposed to happen next week. >>> Looks like the boys at Hundred Acre Wood are carving out a regular spot for themselves down at Cabaret. This Friday, Jan. 15, houses the Next Step Part II, an exploration of hip hop past, present and future. These guys are up onstage with six turntables, live musicians and local MCs, all the ingredients for a party. DJs P-Love, Buck Rogers and the AR bring it to you live. $6 at the door only, and those doors are at 11:30 p.m.