Plowing through town

>> A few reasons not to hibernate this season

by RUPERT BOTTENBERG

Winter is the season brought to you by the letter Y. As in, "Why the hell am I freezing my keister off up here when I could be soaking up the sauce with Jimmy Buffett in Margaritaville?" The answer is that you are an idiot, of course.

But don't dive headlong into suicidal despair. February is the month for that. Right now, you can take solace in the cool spread of musical treats rolling through town from here 'til spring hits.

Things start off pretty scary this year. Late January brings us Fear Factory and System of a Down for a soirée of intense heaviosity at the Medley. Meanwhile, Queens of the Stone Age are planning a bong-blowing seminar at Foufs. If that's too much hair and guitar action for your taste, catch Chicago's Derrick Carter when he spins at Stereo.

Come early February, those appropriately frosty Swedes, the Cardigans, will be at the Spectrum. At the same time, safety-pin enthusiasts Blanks 77 will be at Foufs to confirm that punk is not in fact dead. Also, Sona's anniversary party will be hosting DJ Dan, DJ Sneak, Iain Pooley and Doc Marten. What a spread!

Some local CD launches are cooking for mid- to late February. The Kingpins will be delivering a two-tone Valentine, in the form of their new disc Let's Go to Work, at Club Soda. Indica, meanwhile, will launch the second Inhale compilation. Label lynchpin Grim Skunk are on board, as are Nomeansno, Voodoo Glow Skulls and an international cast of bands that constitute a veritable United Nations of stooooned. Also, local drum & bass heroes Double "A" & Twist will be hitting us with their debut on Bombay, mid-month.

Stock up on frog's legs and Gauloises, because the excruciatingly Gallic Dimitri From Paris is expected in late February. Merde alors, quoi! After that, it's really the crystal ball speaking, and you know how reliable that lousy tchochke can be. Predictions through to March include happy-go-lucky funkateers Sugar Ray with House of Pain refugee Everlast, product-placement punks Offspring, and a metal meltdown with Anthrax and ex-Iron Maiden singer Bruce Dickinson. Tape up your windows, 'cuz Dickey's got the pipes to blow 'em clear out.

Also, rumours about Sebadoh, the return of Asian Dub Foundation, Jay-Z and Massive Attack persist. The only massive attack this writer can confirm, though, is the cardiac arrest I expect to have shovelling my walkway. Winter wonderland, my ass... I gotta give Jimmy a call.