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Robots got squeegees >> Car wash innovator Jan Van Kessel is the king of remote rinse 'n' buff by KRISTIAN GRAVENOR
But by rejigging some circuitry and jamming a modem into the works, Jan Van Kessel, 37, has given Hal a squeegee and got him happily rinsing and buffing all day. The Dutchman from Eindhoven left the land of tulips 'n' clogs 12 years ago to manage McGill's robotics lab. He now designs remote systems which command 200 car washes--throughout North America, Europe and China--to crack to the whip of his modem. "We have electronics that automatically dial us up and tell us if there are low levels of chemicals," says Kessel, "If there's a problem with the air, water pressure or oil levels at the car wash it all comes back on computer." And once it soaks up the data, Kessel's computer brain orders the car wash to adjust itself. Kessel says his type of remote operations could wipe away many of the maintenance problems caused by the great distances car wash repairmen have to cover in North America. This, in turn, helps bring the fancier European-type machines to our shores. "In North America, machines are designed to be primitive but reliable, whereas Europeans load up their machines with all the bells and whistles, knowing that the shorter distances mean that they can get a repairman anywhere within 20 minutes." And Kessel's high-tech approach jives with the increasingly out-of-hand demands of car owners. "Nowadays you get these guys with their fancy BMWs who get upset if anything--even a brush or a buffer--touches their car." As a result, "touchless" car washes, which operate on jets of chemicals and air and cost up to $600,000 to set up, are now making big inroads. The computerized car washes also do something that mom 'n' pop owners would balk at: they keep accurate books. "Car wash owners used to fudge their numbers so they could hide money from the taxman, but now most are operated by the big petroleum chains and they want to know exactly how many cars are actually getting washed." As for Kessel's Nissan truck, it's a model of pure filth. "I never bother to wash it," he says. "Except when an owner gives me a free wash to test out his machine."
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The entire spectrum of car washes was described in, of all places, the film 2001. At one end, you've got your throwback labour-intensive operations where unskilled youths, packing huge cotton rags, circle new Toyotas like monkeys at a gleaming monolith. At the other end, you've got your high-tech automated ones which, like the neurotic computer Hal, can be temperamental and downright ornery.