Best live venue

1. Spectrum

2. Cabaret

3. Metropolis

4. Club Soda

5. Isart

Honourable mentions: Blizzarts, Bourbon Street, Foufs, Hurley's, Jailhouse, Jello, Lion d'Or, Medley, Molson Center, Sona, Upstairs

1. Sona

2. Sky

3. DiSalvio's

4. Groove Society

5. Funkytown

Honourable mentions: 737, Club Crescent, Extreme, Foufs, Gallery, Kokino, Salsatèque, Sphinx, Temple, Thursday's, Unity, Wax Lounge

1. Madhatters

2. Peel Pub

3. Hurley's

4. McKibbins

5. Copacabana

Honourable mentions go to Bifteck, Cheval Blanc, La Cervoise, Else's, Jaï, Miami, Old Dublin, Roy Bar and the now-defunct Yoda Den. One stingy spendthrift, however, suggested "dépanneurs." King cans on the curbside... how very declassé.

1. Sharx

2. Swimming

3. Bacci

4. Skratch

5. Fats

Honourable mentions: Sherlock's, Metropool

1. Carlos & Pepes

2. Peel Pub

3. Thursday's

4. Cheers

5. 737

Honourable mentions: Caesar's, Copacabana, Hotel de la Montagne, Marcos & Pepes, Sherlock's, St-Sulpice, Wienstein & Gavino's, Winnie's

1. Thursday's

2. Crescent Street

3. DiSalvio's

4. Jello

5. Sky

Honourable mentions include Dôme, Fringe Fest, Loft, Parc Lafontaine, St-Laurent & Ste-Catherine, "Irish society functions" and Stomp Store. Also of note are "bingo halls" for the geriatric jumpers and, at the other end of the spectrum, "local high school." (Thanks for taking the time, Jake.)

1. Sky

2. K.O.X.

3. Home

4. Storm

5. Unity

Honourable mention: Three Musketeers. That's not the kind of bar we meant, but since the subject is on the table, we always did wonder what the deal was with those three guys, with those poncey hats and all.

1. Sisters

2. Sky

3. O Side

4. Le Cirque (Meow Mix)

5. Klitz

Honourable mention: Oh Henry. Now, see, here we go again...

1. 281

2. Campus

3. Stock

4. Taboo

5. Adonis

The ladies have spoken: an overwhelming victory for 281.

1. Chez Parée

2. Super Sexe

3. Wanda's

4. Solid Gold

5. Teazers

Honourable mentions: a solitary vote for Cleopatra (nobody tell this guy what's up, OK? Let him find out for himself).

1. Black & Blue

2. Swirl

3. Bal en Blanc

4. Cream

5. Wet & Wild

Honourable mentions: Anything by Channel, Bounce, Celebration, Chemical, Funki at Isart, Concordia's Greening of Mackay, Ninja Tune events.

1. Upstairs

2. Biddle's

3. Jello

4. Air du Temps

5. Café Sarajevo

1. Jello

2. Wax

3. Yoda Den (now closed)

4. Sofa

5. Typhoon/Luba Lounge

The couch commandoes and cocktail kittens have spoken. The crew at Jello were the first kids on the block to really pick up on the martini madness a few years back, ordering lava lamps in bulk and snagging any kidney-shaped furniture they could find. They then upped the ante by booking acts like Swing Dynamique for sonic authenticity. Many more quickly followed the (leopard skin) pattern, with Sofa, Wax, NDG's Typhoon and the now sadly absent Yoda Den drawing a straight line twixt '60s bachelor pad chic and '90s turntable cool.

1. Crantini (vodka & cranberry juice)

2. Scotch

3. Beer

4. Sex on the Beach (peach schnapps, tequila, triple sec, cranberry & pineapple juice)

5. Martini (gin or vodka w/white vermouth)

6. Tequila

Honourable mentions: In the teenage-wasteland category, you might try the Stinger (green crème de menthe & clear brandy), the Alabama Slammer (Southern Comfort, Triple Sec & sloe gin), or the Circus Freak (beats us). In the distinguished-adult-bender category, there are Manhattans (rye or bourbon w/red vermouth), Rusty Nails (scotch & Drambuie), and any type of port or other fortified wine. In the I'll-pour-anything-down-my-gullet category, answers actually included "rocket fuel" and "liquid Kraft Dinner."

1. Sleep

2. Sex

3. More alcohol

4. Water

5. Milk

Honourable mentions: Long walk, tomato juice, greasy breakfast, cold shower, enema, rye and Pepto Bismol, a Bartók quartet.

Aaah, the hangover, a head-spitting, pasty-mouth, physically debilitating condition that afflicts all of us who have attempted to escape reality, if only for a short time. The recriminations, the guilt, the "I'll-never-do-this-again-as-long-as-I-live" avowals, all signify classic symptoms of a proper morning-after-the-night-before. >> Being experts on the subject, we here at the Mirror have perused the various remedies kindly sent to us by our faithful readers and, by analyzing the responses, have formulated a highly unscientific method to relieve that feeling of an 18-pound sledgehammer playing taps on your skull: when you get home, if you're still able to control your movements, take two Aspirin, Tylenol or Advil, and follow this up with several litres of water. After, calculate the amount of time that you were under the influence, multiply this figure by two and add to the number of hours that you would normally sleep. Then, if you wake up still groggy, do the horizontal bop with whomever is beside you when you wake up. >> Finally, if the above method doesn't help, we suggest submerging your pain with copious amounts of more alcohol. This approach is also known as "alcoholism."