Dead, not dead, undead

>> A categorical review of the year in politics

by PHILIP PREVILLE

Category: City Hall, Mayor's Chair

Dead: Jean Doré. Big loser loses big.

Not dead: Michel Prescott. Little guy fights good fight. Now opposition leader.

Undead: Pierre Bourque. Reports of his demise were... you know.

City Councillors

Dead: Sam Boskey. Long-serving egghead loses seat.

Not dead: Sammy Forcillo. Downtown kingpin survives Doré's sinking ship.

Undead: André Cardinal. Former MCMer makes a comeback on the Plateau.

Péquistes

Dead: André Boisclair. Cabinet demotion. Now Minister Responsible for Warm Fuzzies or something like that.

Not dead: Jean Rochon. Embattled health minister re-elected by 39 votes.

Undead: Jacques Parizeau. Refuses to be buried.

Quebec Liberals

Dead: Roch Carrier. Star candidate loses election.

Not dead: Jean Charest. Better showing than anticipated. Lucky.

Undead: Claude Ryan. TV talking head looks like skeletal carcass.

Anglos

Dead: Bill Johnson. After good start, backed down on Eaton's demonstration. Reportedly muzzled by major financial backer. AWOL during election.

Not dead: Harold Chorney. Last lamb at Alliance Quebec sleeps comfortably among wolves.

Undead: Robert Libman. Former Equality leader resurfaces as Côte-St-Luc mayor.

Separatism

Dead: UDI. Supreme court gives it the thumbs-down.

Not dead: Referendums. Winning conditions here we come.

Undead: Sovereignty-association. Doesn't look so bad anymore...

Federal Liberals

Dead: Andy Scott. Loose lips sink promising careers.

Not dead: Brian Tobin. Hanging out in Newfoundland until leadership race.

Undead: Pierre Trudeau. Nostalgiamania sweeps the nation's publishers.

Tories

Dead: Senator Michel Cogger. Convicted of influence peddling.

Not dead: Brian Mulroney. Image rehab in full swing.

Undead: Joe Clark. Mr. Jowls takes the helm once again.

New Democrats

Dead: Glen Clark. B.C. Premier headed for election thrashing in '99.

Not dead: Svend Robinson. MP recovers from near-fatal hiking accident.

Undead: Tommy Douglas. Constantly touted as example of why NDP should be against deficits.

Media moguls

Dead: John Honderich. TorStar publisher botches Sun Media purchase.

Not dead: Conrad Black. More alive than ever, unfortunately.

Undead: Pierre Péladeau. Family company finally purchases his most coveted prize, Sun Media.

Money

Dead: Canadian dollar. If current trends continue, Monopoly money will soon be worth more.

Not dead: Bank mergers. To be continued.

Undead: Counterfeiting. It's amazing what you can do with a colour photocopier.

Free trade

Dead: MAI. Bogus deal bites the dust.

Not dead: Globalization. Nefarious forces still at work.

Undead: David Orchard. Eighties anti-free-trader makes comeback... with the Tories?!

Retail chains

Dead: Aventure Electronics. Goes belly-up in the post-George Balcan era.

Not dead: McDonald's. Continues to stave off unionization.

Undead: Eaton. New ads make a splash.

Government finances

Dead: Deficit. Feds post first surplus in 30 years.

Not dead: Debt. Decades of previous deficits still to pay off.

Undead: Cutbacks. Caution: more deficits headed this way.

Economic indicators

Dead: Inflation. Next to zero.

Not dead: Unemployment. Down to 8 per cent, but still double the U.S. rate.

Undead: Dow Jones Index. Keeps dying, then reviving itself.

Cops

Dead: Jacques Duchesneau. Former Chief runs for mayor, quits, loses, disappears.

Not dead: Brutality. Video of cop stepping on suspect's head confirms worst suspicions.

Undead: Berri Square. Once again, it's legal to hang out there overnight.

Activism

Dead: COBP. Copwatchers paralyzed by internal anarchist politics.

Not dead: Hemp activism. Bloc Pot loses, but movement still strong.

Undead: Yves Manseau. Former COBP head launches Mouvement Action Justice.

Street life

Dead: Street solicitation for charity. Even SPCA has stopped begging for change.

Not dead: Squeegeeing. Punks don't care about paying fines anyway.

Undead: Accueil Bonneau. Blown to bits in summer, rebuilt in time for winter.

Gay activism

Dead: André Boulerice. Ineffective MNA gains zero concessions on gay rights yet again. Four more years!

Not dead: Divers/Cité. More alive than ever. We salute you.

Undead: Michael Hendricks. Longtime rabble-rouser retires from activism, then sues government over right to marry.

Environment

Dead: Environmental regulation. Province slashes enviro budget dramatically.

Not dead: PCBs. They don't decompose, and problem won't go away.

Undead: Lachine Canal. Sludge-filled waters to reopen for pleasure boating!