March

*Daniel Johnson announces his resignation from the Quebec Liberal party after a distinctly unremarkable job done.

*Tommy Lee is charged with spousal abuse, child abuse and arms violation after his wife, Baywatch's Pamela Anderson Lee, called the cops on him. Pam suffers a broken, bloody nail and files for divorce. Their smut-filled home video is still widely available.

*Ontario pays out $4 million in compensation to the three living 63-year-old Dionne quints and promises an inquiry into their exploitation. The fivesome were removed from their family and made into a public attraction by the province, which reaped the benefits of admission charges.

*Robert Duvall's latest film, The Apostle, opens. It's the devastating story of a preacher who inadvertently kills his wife's clandestine lover. Farrah Fawcett costars as Duvall's estranged wife. Duvall, who wrote, directed and appears in virtually every scene of the film, calls it the movie of his life.

*Lake Champlain makes history by becoming the sixth Great Lake. Under pressure mounted by Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy, who wanted a cut of the $50-million university grant for research of coastal Great Lake problems for his state, Champlain (one-fifteenth the size of Lake Ontario) was denoted "Great." Within three weeks, Champlain returned to being less than Great, when its status was revoked by the U.S. Senate.

*Dr. Benjamin Spock dies at the age of 94. He was the first legitimate doctor to proclaim that babies are people too and his Book of Baby and Child Care became a parenthood bible.

*Academy Awards: Titanic creator James Cameron pronounces himself "King of the world" after winning the Academy Award for Best Director. Titanic raked in 11 Oscars, including Best Picture.

*Six weeks after being stripped of full pay and benefits, Andrew Thompson resigns from Canada's Senate. Having only appeared in Senate 14 times since 1990, he was suspended for his rather poor attendance record. He is now eligible for $48,000 annual pension.

*Rob Pilatus, half of Milli Vanilli, dies at age 33 of a suspected drug and alcohol overdose.

*Federal and provincial health ministers cough up a $1.1-billion compensation package for people infected with Hepatitis C through tainted blood.

*An Ontario couple wins the biggest single lottery prize in Canadian history: $22.5 million.

*Jaï opens its doors. Designed by Benno Russel and Justin Dallegret, it feels a lot like walking right into a Stereolab album cover. Which is good.

*Connected, less a rave than the party-line concept on a ginormous scale, hooks us up with Toronto, Vancouver, Seattle and other towns via superfancy space age technology. Roc Raida, DJ Krust and Roni Size are among the invited performers.

*Fat old limey punk has-beens the Damned strut their stuff at Foufounes and put on a rock 'n' roll spectacle that, by all rights, they should be too bitter, jaded and drink-damaged to execute. What a bunch of pros! What a show!

*Propellerheads release Decksand DrumsandRockand Roll on the world.

* The Molson Centre hosts the crazy kung fu Shaolin Monks, who do zany tricks and then hawk videos and key fobs. Contrary to rumours, the monks were not at Biftek after, threatening to kick the DJ's ass if he didn't play Curtis Mayfield's "Kung Fu."