No orgazms here

>> Trey Parker's Mormon-in-porn comedy sucks ass

by MATTHEW HAYS

But here it is: Orgazmo, a funny premise (Mormon ends up inadvertent porn star) ruined by lack of innovative jokes and punchiness and--are you ready?--an overdose of sophomoric humour. Okay, so this last point is precisely what makes the cartoon phenom so damn appealing, but it doesn't work here.

The gags are funny enough at the beginning. Parker and friend have been assigned to their obligatory Latter-Day-Saint conversion beat, and the catch is that they're stuck in that moral cesspit, Hollywood. Appearing at the door of one household is a kindly-looking old woman, and here the humour is in the shock of seeing such an unlikely person (like the kiddies in Park) come up with such a foul comeback: "Take your Bible and shove it so far up your ass you choke on it, you self-righteous Mormon fuckers!"

It's all downhill from there. Parker then stumbles onto the set of a porn film, where the sleazebag producer recognizes his apple-pie aura as potential porn gold. Violà! Parker is the new Orgazmo, the superhero who fights and fornicates his way through this Batman-and-Robin style porn feature-within-a-feature.

Parker's script feels like the work of someone who's young (and I don't mean that in the good sense; experience would have been valuable). The jokes come smoothly enough in the first 10 minutes and then it feels like the screenwriter ran out of juice (you know you're really in trouble when the whole thing starts to feel tired after about 15 minutes).

There are, though, some funny moments: Parker's door-to-door stint as a Mormon supplies some laughs and the behind-the-scenes stuff is certainly more compelling than Jerry Springer's Ringmaster (though that's hardly a ringing endorsement). But that's where Orgazmo stands (or sits); some Mormon-out-of-Utah jokes, some rather dreary porn-industry gags (Boogie Nights this ain't) and plenty of witticisms about flatulence. How inspirational!

Parker tries to move the story forward by having the porn hero become a hero in the real world. His technophile sidekick has managed to invent an orgasm-inducing ray-gun, one that leaves its victims helpless with pleasure. This dynamic duo are soon off to defend the film's degrading stereotype, a Japanese sushi bar owner who's being needled by the mob.

Needless to say, you won't be gnawing your nails to figure out how this one ends. Depressing as it is, looking at this film overwhelms with the feeling that Trey's South Park success was some kind of fluke--and lightning hasn't struck twice.

Orgazmo opens Friday, December 4 at the Cinéma du Parc