Angel >> Baseball bats Baseball bats are one of our favourite things, an artisan's mahogany creation made to sing by men with exceptional athletic talent. Unfortunately, their name has been sullied by our nation's prime minister, the Shawinigan Slugger, who suggested that bats could have served as a useful alternative to pepper spray. Imagine the damage Jean Chrétien could have done, had a 33-inch, 38-ounce bat been within reach when he strangled that protester a couple of years back. Not to mention the maniac who broke into his house.

Insect >> Hypertension-inducing bottled water Yet more evidence is in regarding the dubious quality of bottled water. A duo of McGill researchers tested over 50 brands of bottled water for their content of sodium (induces hypertension, bad), magnesium (prevents heart attacks, good) and calcium (prevents osteoporosis, good). Among the findings: Montclair carbonated water contains high concentrations of sodium, as do most other carbonated waters (with the exception of Perrier). Meanwhile, most other locally available brands (Naya, Evian) contain relatively low concentrations of everything--in fact, they're more or less comparable to tap water. The researchers' conclusion: if you're paying for bottled water because you think it's good for your health, you're pouring money down the drain.