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This week: Jive dominatrix Miss Sophia, gay skins, Paul Gott!
Plus: Stolen pillowcase carries communicable "edited" by AL SOUTH sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT M What is up with these dinosaur stations like CHOM? They fucking suck! I'm sick of Aerosmith and all this crap. Do they think that everybody in this city is over 40 fucking years old? Jesus Christ! [BLEEP!] M I just wanted everybody to know that I went to see Econoline Crush with my girlfriend yesterday and that, after the show, they hung around to meet people and sign autographs. I was thinking, like, hey, this is really cool--until my girlfriend got invited backstage by some ROADIE guy and disappeared for the rest of the night! Every time I tried to go backstage looking for her, some big APE would stop me and ask for my pass, which I, of course, didn't have. I ended up waiting around for her in the fucking cold for close to 3 hours before finally giving up and going home. What is wrong with these people? I just wanted to go backstage for two minutes to get my girlfriend and they treat me like I'm some kind of asshole! What are they so afraid of? Do they think I'm going to faint or something just because I'm in Econoline Crush's dressing room? These people need to get a grip on reality, man. [BLEEP!] M Hey, I just came back from the Econoline Crush concert and I wanted to say that it rocked! It was worth every single penny of the $16 that I paid. They were even cool enough to stay around afterwards and sign autograpths. These guys rule! [BLEEP!] M This is Paul from the Ripcordz and over the past couple of weeks, we've been seeing fans of ours calling into the Rant Line. That's cool, we're just like any other band, we're always happy to find that we have fans. But they've also been making some rather disparaging remarks about other bands--new school and college bands--and that's not really what the Ripcordz are about. I figured that I'd just call in and let you know that if you're listening to college rock, new school, old school, or us, it's really all the same. It's just rock 'n' roll. Stop building barriers between bands. It ain't right. [BLEEP!] F Hi, I'm new to this swing and jive scene and I went to this place, Bar St-Laurent, and the only thing I saw was this guy named Doc and this girl named MISS SOPHIA pushing people around and BEATING people up. So, I can't say that I like the actual scene very much, but I still like the music. I'd like to know if any one knows where I could go to dance and have some fun where people don't beat each other up. [BLEEP!] M Hi, I'm a gay skinhead and it pisses me off that nobody has mentioned us in this whole skinhead debate thing going on in the Rant Line lately. We are non-violent and non-racist and are influenced mostly by the great skinhead bands of the '8os--like Classix Nouveau and Bronski Beat. We also love to dance! Bye. [BLEEP!] M Okay, let me get this straight. If a SHARP skinhead--allegedly a good skin--decides to beat me up, he will beat me up alone. Whereas if a Nazi skin, obviously a bad skin, decides to beat me up, he will beat me up with his friends. Okay, I'm glad that we cleared that up. Now if I'm ever being beaten up by a skinhead, I'll at least have some vague idea of his political ideology. [BLEEP!] M [The Tragically Hip playing in the background] I'm just wondering what kind of white, inbred trash is going to listen to this shit. [BLEEP!] F Hi, this is for the little TURD who broke into my house last night. First, I would like to thank you for cutting yourself and bleeding all over the place when you jimmied open my window. You left some nice big fingerprints that the police were all too happy to take. (Male roommate gets on phone) Hello, I hope you assholes are enjoying all my CD's as much as I always did. I hope that you like Japanese pop and BRIT POP and Abba. And I hope you're enjoying my computer. I guess you've probably found all of my favourite sites on the Internet. I hope you love GAY PORN. Bye, bye. (female again) Oh yeah, I guess I should let you know that I have this weird communicable disease that eats away at your GENITALS--that pillowcase that you stole? I used to masturbate on it all the time. Have fun! [BLEEP!] F This is a little BONJOUR for that cabbie who took me and mine out on a little voyage Friday night. Hey prick, 10 years from now I intend to get my money back out of you as your doctor treating your STD's. That's right, little man, I'm going to school to become a doctor while you drive your little cab. [BLEEP!] M I just want to say that I'm sick of all these Plateau-types. All these rich kids come here from Toronto and try to be alternative in the way they dress and in the way they live. They think that because they live on Clark and go shopping at Warshaw that they're hip or something. Please, you're just too goddamn cool! Listen, go back to Toronto and your parent's money and leave us alone. [BLEEP!] Next week: Open forum
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