This week: Skinheads, boneheads, pinheads, coolheads & Mosley

Plus: Invasion of the 90-inch flares!

"edited" by AL SOUTH

sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT

M Thank you Gil Scott-Heron. Thank you Michael Franti. Thank you to Concordia. Thanks for doing that for the city. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, I just attended that Concordia orientation, music affair, SHINDIG, what-have-you thing, just to see the Ripcordz. But I had to leave a few minutes before they came on because all the inane, insipid people there were making me sick and draining all my CHI. [BLEEP!]

M This is Brian calling and I wanted to say that I went to see the Ripcordz last night at Reggie's Terrace at Concordia. I waited around all night to see them play, but then I didn't get to because Concordia's permit expired at 11 p.m. and the COPS shut the whole show down! Hear this: fuck the cops, fuck Concordia and long live the Ripcordz! [BLEEP!]

M Word up. I was at this club and at the back there was some cats freestylin' to the hypest licks I've ever heard. Word. One guy calling himself (unintelligible, something like Geo the Holy Ghost) was definitely on point, but when I tried speaking to him afterward he was, like, acting like I wasn't even there, you know what I'm saying? If you want to create a real hip hop scene here you have to stop drinkin' and smokin' so goddamn much and give up the attitude. Maybe then the companies will back you up. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Jamal's Coolhead are a really good Montreal unit who can outgroove probably any other local band. What does Montreal think a groove band is? Parkside Jones? I can tell you that JCH can outgroove their party crap any day of the week! I think that Parkside Jones opening for Maceo Parker is a huge insult to both Maceo and funk music. [BLEEP!]

M Hi, this is Jorgo from Jamal's Pinhead. Jamal, myself, and the other guys in the P-Head find it truly incredulous that some of you people have mistaken our RAINSTICKS for didgeridoos. Although they are both primitive aboriginal musical instruments they produce very different sounds and possess radically separate symbolic qualities. I suggest that you take your imaginary didgeridoo and stick it where the sun don't shine! Peace. [BLEEP!]

M I'm just calling to say that I'm pissed off that Ozzy Osbourne didn't come up here with his OzFest tour. Oh yeah, P.S.: all mods are gay. [BLEEP!]

M I don't know who the wanker was who left the letter to the editor about the Cinéma L'Amour but, for heaven's sake, wank at home. By the way, Alex McSween is not gay. I went to high school with him and I'm sure of it. [BLEEP!]

M This is about the whole skinhead thing that's been going on in the Rant Line lately. I'm glad somebody finally said something intelligent that I'm pretty sure most people don't know. The skinhead movement originally started off as a non-racist movement. So, to me, a skinhead is a skinhead and a racist, fascist, shaved-head guy is a BONEHEAD. It's a damn shame that they dress up in pretty much the same way 'coz it makes it kind of hard to figure out which is which. Anyways, real skinheads know who they are: they can be black, white--they're awesome. As for the boneheads: you guys just have real problems with yourselves as individuals and you want to blame everyone else for it. You are desperate and don't know shit. You should think about suicide as a more interesting option. Oi OI OI OINK! [BLEEP!]

M Hi, this is for the bitch who thought the skinhead movement did not start off as a racist movement. Listen, it started off with the BROWNSHIRTS in Mosley's regime in the 1930s. They looked exactly like skinheads and the fascists took that statement--the way they appeared--and dressed up like skinheads. That's why they look so frightening. The anti-racist, wimpy, poseur skinheads are trying to be like the racist skinheads. Bye, bye. [BLEEP!]

M This is a warning shot to all of the ravers in Montreal. The way-too-fat pants, man, they got to go. I seen a guy with a 36" waist and, like, 90" on each bell bottom. When your bell bottoms go twice your waist size, that's when you know you have to stop. [BLEEP!]

F This is for that Garbage Bag Fascist. Do you work for Glad or something? Don't you have anything else to worry about besides what kind of garbage bags I use? Tell me why I would want spend two bucks on some aesthetically pleasing big green motherfucking garbage bag when I can just re-use the five million free ones I get when I buy my groceries? I think you're the one who needs to grow up. Use some common sense and mind your own business. [BLEEP!]

M My boyfriend and I broke up last week and he's got these two bitter DRAG QUEEN friends who are, like, so happy. They've been waiting for this for so long. All they want to do is ROB his imagination and STEAL his ideas, 'coz they're a bunch of loser hacks. Hey boys, what goes around comes around. [BLEEP!]

M Hi, my name is Marilyn Manson and I'm just calling to tell you guys that my new album sucks! [BLEEP!]

Next week: open forum