This week: MUC helicopter peeps on rooftop lovers, CHOM bans pussy rock, butterflies blitzed by city spray!

Plus: Electrolite rock is too hard for Hard Rock!

"edited" by AL SOUTH

sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT

intern: SULA WET

F I have a rant about the Republika concert. The event was good--even though they didn't have South American food--but what I really want to complain about is the security guards. They're a bunch of thieves! When we went in, they took our harmless little Swiss Army knives and promised they would give them back to us at the end of the show. Later, when we went back to reclaim them, they said they'd given them to the police. So we go to the police, and they tell us that they don't have our knives and that it wasn't their responsibility. We go back to the security people, and they tell us yet again that the police have our knives. Finally, I learn that our knives have gone to the police station on Queen-Mary and Côte-des-Neiges, and if we want them back we will have to go to the station the next morning to claim them. So the next day I go to the station and, sure enough, our knives are not there. They had a bunch of other stuff--but not our STUPID ARMY KNIVES! [BLEEP!]

M This goes out to all the people who missed Republika '98. Maybe it's a good thing that you don't know what you missed, 'coz you wouldn't be able to face yourselves for the rest of the year. [BLEEP!]

F I'm an OLD SKINHEAD MOM and I just wanted to give my opinion on the local music scene. It needs a change. Oi will never die, and the working class lives on! [BLEEP!]

M Hey, you know these Hard Rock Café "live" Thursday things? Well, last week nothing was live. The management wouldn't let this band Electrolite play because they were too loud. Hello?! The "Hard Rock" Café? Doesn't this seem like some sort of contradiction--on an image-marketing level at the very least?! [BLEEP!]

MThis is a rant about how CHOM does absolutely nothing for our local music scene. I have a friend named Ali who plays in a local band--let's call them JOLLY BEAN--and he called into CHOM to see how he could maybe get his songs on the air. You know, asking if they had a local talent show or anything like that. So the guy at CHOM says, "Oh yeah, what's the name of your band?" When my friend tells him the CHOM guy goes, "Well, I'm sorry, but we don't play PUSSY ROCK over here," and hung up on him. I'm sorry, but this is rude and it sucks! CHOM does nothing for the local scene. They should cancel that stupid "Stump the Guitarist" program--where a bunch of LONGUEUIL PEOPLE play Metallica songs all night--and put that time towards playing local music. [BLEEP!]

M I'm calling to bitch about that guy who's yelling at CHOM because they don't give enough airtime to local bands. CHOM l'Esprit does sponsor those bands, and most of the ones that get into the finals get a hell of a lot of airtime, so I don't know what you're bitching about. [BLEEP!]

F I went to see the Smoking Grooves concert last week and I've got to say, these guys just punked out. Sitting there the whole show complaining that we weren't giving out enough energy. Let them stand there in the pouring rain for three fucking hours and see how much energy they put out. I paid $45 for a fucking ticket and they can't even play a full fucking song. I think that's pretty cheap. However, I will give 'em props for not trying to group us all into West Indians, Haitians, Cubans and Jamaicans. They just put us all together 'coz we're all black. [BLEEP!]

M When will you Canadians stop using the word fuck--or fucking?! I'm tired of it! Please, use another word if you want to curse. [BLEEP!]

F Hi, it was about 3:30 in the morning and I was on my roof making love, in my own territory, when this beautiful police helicopter came and SPOTLIGHTED OUR ASSES. For 10 minutes it hovered around us, looking at us having fun. It was pretty embarrassing and I don't know what's going on with this helicopter, but it is my roof, my territory, and I want to be able to fuck there if I feel like it. [BLEEP!]

F This is for the person ranting about me, the barefoot BALD GIRL. I just wanted to say that just because I walk around barefoot, it doesn't mean shit. I generally only walk around for a couple of seconds 'coz I live right there. [BLEEP!]

M I don't understand the City of Montreal or the Canada Parks department. I live by the Lachine Canal and I saw a Canada Parks truck cleaning up debris around the canal. What they were cleaning up, however, were merely returnable bottles and cans. They left the real garbage there, not bothering to take it. Not only that but they're spraying the place with herbicides and pesticides and I think that is disgusting. I can't believe the city is paying money for things like this. It's like there's nowhere safe to go anymore. Where are the butterflies and the symbols of transformation in our universe when we are destroying them with things like herbicides? This city must be on crack! [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum