Don't sweat the film stuff

>> Pre-productions court Cannes

by JOANNE LATIMER

"I'm one of the film's producers--the real idiots," said the rep from Denmark's Zentropa Productions, on the grill during a press conference for Lars von Trier's Les Idiots. Von Trier was a no-show. His trademark mobile home was spotted crossing Europe, en route to Cannes, and his entourage had checked into the exclusive Hôtel du Cap. But Von Trier stymied the press by shunning all contact.

Instead, he wrote a note: "Cannes is a wonderful place for most people, but I find it a bit too much. Please excuse my absence while I focus my mental energies on attending the [premiere] screening tonight. Good luck with any idiot you might have found."

Von Trier's absence heightened the bafflement surrounding Les Idiots and the other lacklustre films in official competition. What happened? The film selection looked juicy, on paper, only six days ago. No one wanted to talk about it, and film buyers around town kicked dirt in frustration. "All the good projects are now spoken for while they're at the script stage," said an L.A. buyer, enmeshed in a race for indie acquisitions that made good at Sundance. "Studios bite earlier and earlier. Many films don't come to Cannes because they don't need to--they've got their distributors. Now it's a place to celebrate signing talent on future projects."

Thus the hubbub about Leonardo DiCaprio signing up for American Psycho(!). Michael Apted announced another instalment of his wildly successful British TV/film series, 42 Up, and Gerard Depardieu came to the Riviera to convince Anjelica Huston to let him star in her Dublin-based comedy called The Mammy. Pedro Almodovar couldn't stop talking about casting his next film, All About My Mother--if you can imagine--and there's a bio-pic on Winston Churchill slated, called London 1940.

Roman Polanski threw a warm-up bash at the Carlton Beach for his future film, The Ninth Gate--a $30-million extravaganza starring Johnny Depp and Lena Olin. Claudia Schiffer and Mira Sorvino were all ears as Polanski went on about his baby son, Elvis. Depp showed up wearing mud-caked cowboy boots, and stayed 20 minutes before disappearing with Kate Moss.

The biggest pre-production madness, however, surrounded the spoofing of Titanic. Not one, but two parodies are in the works. One is called Gigantic, about a ship that was 2.5 inches shorter than the Titanic, meeting its ruin against a coral reef. The other, a $25-million gimmick starring Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley and David Hasselhoff called Titanic Too: It Missed the Iceberg.

Our own Alliance Communications threw a fête for Hungarian helmer Istvan Szabo's future epic, starring Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weiz. Fiennes--sporting auburn hair, makeup and suspenders with linen pants--was a hit, as were the heavyweight Canadians scattered around the buffet. Toronto actress Lenore Zann, in a tight gold lamé number, held intense discussions with Robert Lantos about her film, Babyface, while her co-star Elizabeth Rosen quietly smoked a big stogey. Elizabeth plays a 12-year-old girl caught in a love triangle with her mother's boyfriend. Director Jack Blum and producer/partner Sharon Corder (Traders) were nearby with actor James Gallander.

Actor/director Don McKellar held court as the wonderboy from Canada. McKellar's film, Last Night, impressed audiences with its disjointed doomsday tale. McKellar and actor Callum Keith Rennie (Due South) have a hilarious scene about last-ditch sexual experimentation, and actress Sandra Oh's warped relationship to David Cronenberg's character lends the film a macabre twist. Quebec-based director Denis Villeneuve, with his feature August 23rd on Earth screening in the prestigious Un certain regard section, looked content, as did producer Roger Frappier, as he prepared for his festival homage the following day.

This air of relaxation around the Croisette was odd. "Oh, isn't that nice," was the general reaction to the prizewinners. Theo Angelopoulus took home the Palme d'Or for Eternity and a Day--after winning the Jury Prize for Ulysses' Gaze two years ago. Madman Roberto Benigni won the Grand Prix this year (Benigni pretended to mistake his prize for the Palme d'Or) and Don McKellar won the Prix de la jeunesse.

Special Artistic Contribution went to Todd Haynes's Velvet Goldmine. Haynes thanked "Roxy Music and Oscar Wilde for giving us something to live up to." And Hal Hartley got the Best Screenplay for Henry Fool. Best Actor winner Peter Mullan from Ken Loach's My Name Is Joe managed the impossible--getting a laugh that rivalled Benigni's, saying to Jury president Martin Scorsese: "The only thing that could make me happier would be if the next time you said my name, it would be followed by the word 'Action!'"