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This week: Wrap controversy, Rek Shop flop, the geriatric Geritol set. Plus: Sinatra's horrible phrasing! "edited" by AL SOUTH sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT M This is about Frank Sinatra. I have always loved standards but I could never figure out what people like about Frank Sinatra. Everybody talks about his PHRASING but if anything, his phrasing is what RUINS all these songs. I don't get it and I just want to know if there are other people out there who have the same distaste and disdain for this guy as I do. God, let's hope we don't get overwhelmed with a crop of Frank Sinatra tribute bands! [BLEEP!] M I'm calling to defend my place of employment to the guy who's not happy about a certain Ste-Catherine street record store--the BIG ONE. He was complaining that we rewrap CDs. Well, listen: the Saran Wrap also goes around the CDs that have been opened up so idiots like you can listen to them at the listening post and then not buy them. People come up to us all the time, WHINING, "I want to listen to this, I want to listen to that. Put it on song #6, no, wait, put it on song #4." And then we have to unwrap them, of course. What happens when we unwrap them and you don't buy them? They go downstairs to the warehouse and they get re-wrapped in the Saran Wrap. What's the big deal? It's not like you've never taken advantage of our LIBERAL EXCHANGE POLICY so don't be bitching about it. If you don't like it then shop elsewhere! [BLEEP!] F I'm calling in response to the guy who left the rant about the RETURN POLICY at one of the major Ste-Catherine street record stores. I work there and I just want to say that if we didn't have this policy then MORONS like you wouldn't be able to return the CD that you weren't even sure of before you bought it. We always do check out a CD and make sure that it is in perfect condition. So thank you very much and realize that this is what makes us better than everybody else. [BLEEP!] M I just went to see Ray Condo at Le Swimming. Don't those guys at that club realize that Ray Condo is a dance band? You can not sit still when you hear these guys and what do they do! Le Swimming give us all of 10 square feet of dance floor--what the heck are they thinking? [BLEEP!] M I'm calling to say that I'm appalled at the overall reaction of Montreal's so-called hip hop heads. Julian, aka Ratio, put his heart and soul into organizing REK SHOP and only about 80 people showed up. Out of those 80, maybe only about 20 or 30 people really cared about beats and rhymes. If Montreal hip hop artists are going to have to rely on our own city to make a name for ourselves, then we're going to SUFFER! 'Coz it's quite obvious that the heads in this city are more concerned with stuff that's coming out on American major labels than with what is coming out of their own city. It's disgusting! Every beat heard at Rek Shop was as phat--if not PHATTER--than what's coming out of the States on major labels. Something must be done. I don't have the solution, I'm just ranting. Peace. [BLEEP!] M This is in reference to the guy who critiqued the new Alanis Morissette song. I find it very convenient that somebody who doesn't have to leave his name would call Alanis a god-awful UGLY bitch. What kind of person are you? You're just threatened by the fact that a woman can sound full of ANGST and anger and get away with it. If you don't like it, then don't listen to it. [BLEEP!] M What's with this April Wine show coming up at Bourbon Street West? Is this the Geritol tour? What's wrong with these guys? Don't they ever give up? How many original members are left in the line-up? One? Miles Goodwin might as well grow ROOTS and plant his feet into the stage. [BLEEP!] M This is a rant for that motherfucker who said he saw Joe Pass in the late '70's at the Rising Sun club. Well, let me tell you something: that geriatric, fucked-up JURASSIC old boy doesn't know what he's talking about! If Joe Pass ever rocked then I'm fucking SKINNY MINNIE MILLER of the Roller Derby. This guy must be whacked, man! [BLEEP!] M This is in response to the guy having a cow over the TITANIC beer. It's not a new beer--it's beer that's been brewed for 10 years now--and it's not just cashing in on a trend. The name was chosen for its romantic novelty at the time--way before it was made into one of the great tragedies of humanity by Hollywood. Worse things happen every day so don't go comparing it to the HOLOCAUST. [BLEEP!] F Hi, I'm calling to complain about the Montreal BRIT-POP scene--or rather, the non-existence of it. I'd really like to know where the good Brit-scene is. Where are all the beautiful MODS and all the gorgeous Brit boys--or any boys for that matter? 'Coz I can't find you and all the local clubs suck! [BLEEP!] Next week: So where exactly does one go to find beautiful Brit-pop boys in this town?
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