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This week: Morality squad vs. Rek Shop, price-gouging Spice Girls, smelly music shop guys. Plus: Minnie Driver's horse face defended! "edited" by AL SOUTH sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT M I saw Joe Pass in the late '70s at the old Rising Sun club and let me tell you, it wasn't just some intellectual study in jazz improvisation--Joe Pass KICKED ASS! He swung and he rocked and it was an excellent show. Jazz licks are the basis of rock 'n' roll. If somebody can play Joe Pass licks then I think they should consider themselves lucky. [BLEEP!] M Hey, I just went into (a small music store) on St-Antoine and some BIG FAT GUY told me to fuck off as soon as I walked in the door. I had $1000 to spend on an American Stratocaster but the guy was so mean and offensive and smelled so bad that I had to turn around and leave! [BLEEP!] M Hey, this is Julian, aka Ratio. I'm the organizer of REK SHOP that was supposed to go down last Friday at the World Beat Café--but got cancelled. When I signed the contract for the venue, I was told that the room had a maximum capacity of 400 people. But then, three days before the show, the MORALITY SQUAD saw me putting up flyers and started insinuating that there would be a lot of UNDESIRABLES--black people, graffiti writers--attending the event. The next day the World Beat Café called me and said that they had a permit for only 150 people and that the police would shut the show down if we tried to put it on. Some friends of mine phoned Goldylocks and he helped me arrange for a new venue, but by Friday, this new place wanted to triple their price. Luckily, we have a new venue, the Rainbow on de Maisonneuve near Vendôme, and the event is going to take place this Saturday instead. I just want to say that I'm extremely sorry to anyone who came out last Friday but that, due to unforeseen circumstances--such as RACISM--and certain people who don't know how to run a business, the show had to be delayed. But it's all about a positive vibe, so come check it out. [BLEEP!] F Whoever bitches about the Montreal punk scene obviously does not come downtown too often. There is this place that just opened called L'X that is worth checking out. It's an all-ages place that only serves beer to people who are 18 and over. The first ever show they had there was last Friday and it was pretty cool. Finally, there is a place for punks that is OWNED by punks. [BLEEP!] M Hi, this is Dom Castelli responding to Alexandra's rant. I don't know who you are but hey, your rant was really TOUCHING and in response to that, Alexandra, and so that we can meet, I'm going to invite you to the Jailhouse Rock. In fact, everyone is invited. As you may know through rumours, I BOUGHT the Jailhouse Rock. So come for cheap beer, good music and whatever else kind of gossip we can formulate in the near future. [BLEEP!] M Hey, I'm calling about the (names major Ste-Catherine record store) return policy. I think it really sucks that used CDs are being sold as supposedly new ones--especially with the 46 per cent profit margin that they're pulling off. There is, however, a way to tell if you are buying a re-wrap. If the plastic on the cover feels like SARAN WRAP, then it's a re-wrap. If the plastic feels like the plastic on a pack of smokes then it's the real deal. So don't get burned by their policy--let them keep the used ones. [BLEEP!] F Hey, I'm going to do this in my sexy voice. The BOM Top 5 list of pop/rock bands in Montreal shows that there's more to the city than ska. I'm pissed at all the moaning and groaning of my TORONTO friends who say we're a ska dead zone. Nothing wrong with ska, mind you, but we do keep the likes of Jazz Pharmacy, Slaves on Dope and those bitchin' Vendettas. [BLEEP!] F Hi, I just want to complain about the friggin' price for Spice Girl tickets. I waited four days to get them and when I finally got my turn, they were sold out. And, fuck, they were $70 a pop! [BLEEP!] F Josh Bezonsky has got to be the most bitter and annoying journalist that I've read in a long time. What is up his ass? Minnie Driver? HORSE-FACED? Who is he to talk? Look at him! He is one ugly motherfucker. Anyway, as far as the local music scene is concerned, with artists such as Zipperhead and Frenetic Hornheads coming up and about, the Montreal music scene is up and running. I'm tired of hearing people dis it. Peace. [BLEEP!] M What's with this new Titanic Beer? Naming brews from French-Canadian folklore is one thing, but naming beers based on horrible tragedies is another. Contrary to James Cameron's epic, there is no beauty or romanticism in the deaths of a thousand people. I mean, what's next? How about HOLOCAUST Ale, or maybe HINDENBERG Malt? [BLEEP!] FAXRANT My life has found new meaning since the Mirror started posting the Cinéma L'Amour schedule in the movie listings. Now I see the films from the beginning and life seems better. It all makes sense now. Previously, I thought the films were plotless and were about BONKING and WANKING. Kudos Mirror! [BLEEP!] Next week: Open forum
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