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This week: Carding at Unity, reggae juniors, Alanis critique. Plus: McGill students must be deported! "edited" by AL SOUTH sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT M So everyone is really excited about this new club Unity that's just opened up and is supposed to be the new Sky, but better than Sky. Well, it may be, but what's this about a discrimination policy against women under 21? They CARD women and if they're under 21, they get kicked out. What's going on here? I thought that a GAY CLUB was supposed to be open to everyone! They're not supposed to discriminate against people in the same way in which they have been discriminated against for so long. I think we should boycott Unity until this policy has been cleared. Thank you. [BLEEP!] M This is to complain. A couple of weeks ago there was a party called Extreme that was organized by a couple of guys and the name was stolen by another organization--a very big organization--who stole the party. I'm just saying that they're idiots and I hope that the original guys come back with another party. The first party was great music, a great party, and then these guys came and fucked them up. I just wanted to make that clear and say... let people live. [BLEEP!] M I've got a rant about Bran Van 3000. What's the trip with those boys? They drive around in a van eating bran? Ha, ha, ha, too clever. ANYHOO, I can't understand that tune they wrote--the one with no chorus or bridge or pre-chorus. The one that just seems to go 'round and 'round and on and on in some blatant disregard for musical theory. I don't know, man, this band SCARES me. [BLEEP!] M This is the CREEP calling. I read something about me last week in the Rant Line. A scalper selling somebody fake tickets? Well, unfortunately, I don't have blond hair and I'm out of the music business--I'm into other business now. Yeah, I'm getting BLOWN by a lot of girls. Like, I've received about 30 blowjobs in the past 15 days. So tell everybody in the Rant Line that I am semi-retired from the music business but that I'm doing all right. I've got a Sony Trinitron TV worth $1,000! [BLEEP!] M I want to know what's going on with the REGGAE scene in Montreal. How come there is only one particular band playing all the time? And how come the best reggae artists never get to showcase? I wonder if it's really because the so-called big artists are scared of a little competition from the younger guys. I also wonder about the so-called King of Kings label--what's that all about? Why don't they give the younger artists a chance? I've seen guys out there who could actually make something out of this label. Why don't they just get off their asses and stop the envy and jealousy--and the greed. One love. [BLEEP!] M This is about that new Alanis Morrisette song. It sounds like someone took a bunch of female hormones and stuck them up Robert Plant's ass! It's an awful rip-off of "Kashmir" and I feel that I must also mention that she is one of the most god-awful ugly bitches that I ever did see! [BLEEP!] M I'm calling in reference to the young gentleman who called the university jazz students animals and wildlife and such. I've been studying jazz guitar for eight years now at the expense of the Canadian taxpayer and I think it's been a good investment on the whole for Canada. Those Joe Pass licks are coming out just fine and I'm very proud of myself. I've got self-esteem and I'm getting the ladies--well, the FAT ONES, anyway. I'm gonna play for three or four more years at the cost of, say, $40k a year on the back of the Canadian TAXPAYER and I hope to maybe get one gig a year out of it when I'm all done. [BLEEP!] F I've been living in the McGill ghetto for about 10 years and I think it's a beautiful neighbourhood but there is just one small problem--the MCGILL STUDENTS who live here. I'm sick of the way they treat the entire ghetto as though it is the backyard of some teenager whose parents have gone on vacation. I propose that we find an alternative place for them to live--say perhaps in Park Extension--where there seems to be a lot of available cheap housing which would be easier on the parents of these children. I am just tired of not being able to fall asleep from hearing people outside my window screaming "I'm drunk and it's beautiful" and then stepping outside the next morning to their broken beer bottles and drying puddles of PUKE. [BLEEP!] F Is it my imagination or are people insanely conservative in this city--to the point of being slaves to the rhythm? What are artists supposed to do to survive in this town if they don't want to work 9-5 or don't want to get involved in the PORN or sex trades? I'm new in this town! I need to know. [BLEEP!] M This is Jack from Laval. Does anyone out there know a good trick to stop DROOLING in your sleep? It's really starting to fuck my shit up. Does anyone out there know what I'm saying? [BLEEP!] Next week: Open forum
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