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This week: Purple Haze still thriving, CREEP and Castelli sightings, important fashion tips. Plus: Woodrow rising! "edited" by AL SOUTH sub-edited by ROGER ARGENT M Hi , this is a reply to that Steve guy who ranted about the closed clubs. First off, the Purple Haze is not closed --it was only on the VERGE of closing. Furthermore, I don't ever recall hearing ANY Top 40 music at the Purple Haze. Obviously, you haven't been there on a really popular Saturday night and you don't know the first thing about industrial underground Gothic music. The Goth scene in this city definitely doesn't need you or your simple-minded opinions. [BLEEP!] M Hey dude, this is the Metalhead Brotherhood calling in defence of our jazz brothers. A lot of those great heavy metal licks come from the jazz guys like Jim Pass and, uh, John Montgomery. We have got to stick together as guitar players. This is the Metalhead brothers signing out saying: "Long live jazz." [BLEEP!] M Man, I am so pissed off! I went to the Rolling Stones concert and had to buy tickets off a scalper--some little CREEP with blond hair and a CELLULAR PHONE--and the tickets were fake, man! FUGAZIS! I couldn't get in and the doorman almost kicked the shit out of me. I paid 50 bucks a crack for these things. Somebody oughta take that little prick and rip him in half. Thank you. [BLEEP!] F I just want to say that I'm the one who is going to go back home with Mr. J. Cummings after the Nashville Pussy concert. Well... at least I hope I do. [BLEEP!] F Yeah, I'm calling to say what a great time I had at last night's YAWP! at the Cabaret. I laugh at anyone who says Montreal's local music scene is dead. Child 44--they were so good! The whole night was good! Last week I saw Tribal Groove at Le Swimming and they've got to be the funkiest group in the universe! Montreal's music scene is ALIVE! You just have to know where to look. [BLEEP!] F Hi, this is Alexandra and I just heard some great news--(formerly local promoter) DOM CASTELLI is back in Montreal and I just wanted to say from me to you, welcome home Dom! [BLEEP!] M Yeah, my rant is that NOFX is coming to Montreal on May 1 and nobody did any advertising for it. Now I've got to buy scalpers' tickets at $60 a piece and I think that it's very, very unfair. So please, next time a band of this STATURE comes around, you've got to let us know ahead of time. Thank you. [BLEEP!] M I'm sick of hearing all these people on the Rant Line and on the street complaining about the local music scene. I mean, if you dislike it so much, pick up a guitar, a set of drumsticks, a saxophone, a TROMBONE or whatever and write yourself some music and go out and play it. I mean, it's not that hard. If you don't want to do that then go to another city. Maybe it will be better there. [BLEEP!] M I was just wondering if it was me or does everyone pop a WOODROW when they're riding on the bus. If it is the case and everybody gets a woodrow--does it work with women? If it does, then why aren't we picking more of them up? Oh yeah, and also, my thanks to the pigs for suspending my licence. [BLEEP!] F Yo, I got a complaint about the fuckin' cops in this city. I am sick and tired of getting nailed for things like having a little bit of dope on me--when I know the pigs are smoking it--or like having to take a piss and getting a $135 fine over it. I'm just sick and tired of them thinking they're the shit and telling me that I can't do things that I want to do--and should be able to do--in fuckin' society. So, all I got to say to the cops out there is that you can kiss my sweet ass. As far as I'm concerned, I'm gonna smoke weed wherever I wanna smoke it, I'm gonna drink wherever I wanna drink, and I'm GONNA PEE wherever I want to pee. That's all. [BLEEP!] M I've got a rant about these PANTYHOSE HEAD COVERS that a lot of people are wearing now. These fuckin' Tommy Hilfiger and Polo Sport things. Anyone out there wearing them--lose them 'coz they're fuckin' ridiculous. Later. [BLEEP!] F This a plea to all Montrealers, young or old, male or female. If you could please, please, stop wearing so much bloody COLOGNE it would be very much appreciated by myself and other allergy sufferers around the city. This is a very hard time for us. This is one of the worst seasons and it seems that you people have become desensitized to the fact that you're wearing it, because you seem to put on more and more everyday. It is very hard, especially in the morning, to walk behind people in a cloud of their PUTRID scents. I know you want to impress that special someone with the cloud of cologne that follows you everywhere, but just think about us for a change: with our sinuses blocked and our eyes tearing every afternoon, every evening, and in the morning waking up to it coming in through our windows. I've got nothing against pollen, just people. [BLEEP!] Next week: Open forum.
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