>>Highs

Velcro Makes clothes and shoes über-fab and easy to take off. Why had we forgotten you, oh king of all closures?

Science New, real, serious HIP HOP record shop (5259 St-Laurent). Thank you, and what took you so long?

Hating Big Life's Daniel Richler loudly If you think this weenie's Tina Turner hair and "futurist" agenda are cool, then you deserve a one-way ticket to Toronto. Many there agree with you.

Swirl 4 lineup Beltram, Icey, Vasquez, Q-Bert, Biz Markie?! Absolute wow!

Balconville Yes, we mean the weather. Like, could we sleep outside please?

>>Lows

Gayrobics Coming soon at Wild & Wet '98. Suddenly we are pining for a voguing revival.

The Metalheadz Royal DMX Goldie has helped design his own Goldie-endorsed sneakers. Hold tight for the salad dressing, in a junglist stylee. Oh dear.

That Madonna video Are we the only ones who have noticed "Frozen" is the boringest video in the world and that all the video channels are in a conspiracy to play it simultaneously?

DJs making mixed CDs instead of cassettes Just giving us more things to tape for our cars and Walkmans.

Dancing in people's houses Why turn a perfectly good apartment party into Charlie Brown's Christmas special? "Going mental" near potted plants is somehow vaguely pathetic.