What you need is an FTP (File Transfer Protocol) program. FTP-ing is the most reliable way to move files to and from a Web server. FTP programs use ftp addresses (e.g. ftp.netscape.com instead of www.netscape.com). Many FTP programs are shareware; Fetch (for Mac) or WS_FTP and CuteFTP (for Windows) are popular and available from www.shareware.com or www.download.com. Once you have it, use it whenever you download something from an FTP site. Simply copy the address from your browser, launch your FTP program, paste the address, download and... PRESTO!

Enter the Bull Street Journal (http://members.aol.com/ BullStreet/index.html), a parody that takes the Wall Street Journal and stands it deliciously on its head. Recent articles (new articles appear three times weekly) included a brilliant piece about the benefits of slavery, disguised as a story about a "human stock exchange" and a series of "extremely directed activities." Bull Street's movie guide for corporate executives panned films such as The Fifth Element because their villains were nefarious corporate profiteers, while offering the following glowing review of Batman and Robin: "Batman shows he knows the importance of delegating and of creating a pleasant and challenging corporate culture. Human Resources personnel should run, not walk, to this film!"

The plan instructs power-hungry canucks to brainwash reluctant masses with Road to Avonlea reruns and impose the use of "eh" in conversation.

The result would be "a united global force of calm, community-minded, Globe and Mail-reading, Quebec-loving, Molson Canadian beer shirt-wearing, blood-donating, polite, environmentally-concerned people willing to go to war over our fishing rights but who would rather stay home and barbecue on the patio." Now that's a vision, eh?

Today (Thursday Jan. 29), web-surfing comrades will log on to the web sites of five major Mexican financial institutions: Bolsa Mexicana de Valores (www.bmv.com.mx), Grupo Fianciero Bital (www.bital.com.mx), Grupo Financiero Bancomer (www.bancomer.com.mx), Banco de Mexico (www.banxico.org.mx) and Banamex (www.banamex.com). Then they will stay logged on to those web sites by pressing the reload button over and over and over again, thus clogging up the web servers so that clients can't make transactions and international financiers can't get information on their potential banking partners. The occupation, the first of its kind, takes place from 11 a.m. to noon local time.

Perhaps a similar occupation at the virtual headquarters of mbanx might soon be in order.

Breakup Girl (www.breakupgirl.com) is a sassy, sexy avenger of women scorned. This humourous site is packed with advice for the recently dumped. Need to know how to get your stuff back or maybe how to get rid of his in an environmentally friendly way? Or perhaps you need some pastimes to wile away the lonely days? All the answers are there. There's even interactivity: a bulletin board to share your woes, a guide to interpreting personal ads and some not-so-sentimental postcards to email the bastard. The whole thing is packaged beautifully with cartoons to boot. And if you guys are feeling discriminated against, not to worry. The advice column and bulletin board seem to be quite popular with the non-matching chromosome set.

While many of us will once again be contentedly surfing by the time this is published, many others will not. Hundreds of thousands of people will be without power for several more weeks.

That's where the web can actually help. The kind people at LaurentianWeb have set up Opération Hébergement (www.laurentian.com/host). Their service allows you to offer to share your home with those currently without. You simply fill out the online form selecting certain criteria for who you can accommodate and they'll get the information to the shelters.

As our own situations get better and the storm begins to fade from our minds, we must remember that, with the devastation faced by south shore residents, it is still very much alive for others.