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Don't put Joe Orton on your stage, Lakeshore Thespians (With apologies to Sir Noel Coward) by AMY BARRATT
Of Wednesday the fourth of Feb, Although the playwright may write In a form akin to mystery, Or something no more risky, Note: Loot is not by Agatha Christie! For you to try, Dear Lakeshore Thespians, Is on one level rather brave; But what you've done to it, Please take a gun to it. The thought of it still Quite easily will Have me reaching for the whiskey. Don't put Joe Orton on your stage, Lakeshore Thespians, Don't put Joe Orton on your stage. His plays have a social conscience And a humour that is black; What you've put on your set's like some Blue Bonnets bets: It's hopelessly off-track! It was well-lit, to give the wretched thing its due, But what's become of actors who Can play more shades than beige? I repeat, Lakeshore Thespians, Sweet Lakeshore Thespians, Don't put Joe Orton on your stage. Don't put Joe Orton on your stage, Lakeshore Thespians, Don't put Joe Orton on your stage. With direction that's non-existent, His bon mots can hardly shine And a play that is bent, Isn't very well-lent To such uninspired design. You've done great plays, by Shakespeare, Miller, Tennessee... And some of them, it seemed to me Leapt boldly from the page. Thanks a lot, Lakeshore Thespians, Not! Lakeshore Thespians. For putting this Joe Orton on your stage. Don't put Joe Orton on your stage, Lakeshore Thespians, Don't put Joe Orton on your stage. Though I've sworn I'll stay to the end of plays I'm planning to review, Were it not for that deal, I'd have turned on my heel And fled before Act Two. You're a nice crowd, and though at times I've called you friend, I can't in conscience recommend This theatrical outrage. On my knees, Lakeshore Thespians, Please, Lakeshore Thespians, No more Joe Orton on your stage! Loot, by Joe Orton, presented by the Lakeshore Players, continues through Saturday (Feb. 14) at John XXIII High School in Dorval. Tickets $11-14
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Regarding yours, dear Lakeshore Thespians,