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This week: Dead singer dissed, scene declared not dead! Plus: Coming out at Selwyn House!! "edited" by AL SOUTH F Hello, this is Lisa. This is my first time calling the Rant Line. All I wanted to say is that I just read about Talamasca and their leader Chriss Lee--I didn't even know he committed suicide. I'm just calling to give my condolences to Montreal for missing out on this amazing band. I only got to see them once and I'll never forget them--I thought they were great. Bye. [BLEEP!] M Hi, this is The Rogue. I was the original bass player for the band Talamasca, with the infamous Chriss Lee. I'm calling to complain because I find that Montreal, especially [Mirror writer] Chris Yurkiw, is doing a good job of giving Chriss a deity status. And I don't think that's really well-deserved. Chriss Lee was a bit of a cheat, a thief and a liar. He was difficult, he was egotistical and a lot of people didn't like him. Unfortunately, that's the way Chriss was to me. On a positive note, though, I must say that Chriss had some good qualities about him. But he was a sad, tortured soul who was only looking to be loved, and while trying to do that, things backfired on him. So for that reason alone, I am sad that he has passed away and he will be missed. But please, let's stop putting Chriss on this pedestal of godhood. That's about it. Bye. [BLEEP!] M Hi, this is Bud Boy from Dawson's newspaper the Plant. I'm entertainment editor and I'd like to say that you guys are seriously disturbed if you think Montreal's rock scene is dead. Check out bands like Child 44, Beverly, Atom to Zowie. Or Sex With Furniture, the Psychonauts, the Pussycats, Parkside Jones, the Potholes... it's all over the place. Hey, we've even got a great ska band right here with General Rudie. Montreal's got a great, living, breathing, kicking rock scene. Later. [BLEEP!] F This is to the tedious rant last week where the guy said there were no good bands in Montreal. Have you never heard of the Motherfunkers? Why don't you go check them out at Le Swimming. Why don't you do that?! [BLEEP!] M Yeah, if the local music scene were a soap opera it would be Days of Our Lives, 'coz there are a lot of fights and all the bands in Montreal are against each other. I mean, if you think about it, Akira hates Dogs Playing Poker, Dogs Playing Poker hate Akira, Akira hate Blood Orange, Blood Orange hate everybody--Blood Orange are whores though, so it doesn't make a difference. Pussycats hate everybody, Slaves on Dope don't like anybody and no one likes them either. Everyone's on bad terms--just like on Days of Our Lives. [BLEEP!] M Which soap opera would the Montreal scene be? A really boring one, y'know. [BLEEP!] M To the guy who bitched about the jam nights at Déjà Vu. I've been going there for about five years now and I've always got to play and everybody always gets to play. This prick wants to complain about something that has nothing to do with playing. I was there, I know him, he's a JACKASS. [BLEEP!] M This is a rant as well as a request. At the U2 concert in November, some big brawny security guard shoved me against the wall 'coz I was waiting for my girlfriend to get out of the bathroom. I need WITNESSES because the investigators say you need witnesses for court. So if anybody saw that on that night, I'd appreciate it if you could help out and contact me via the Rant Line. Just wanna let the message out there that those big monster BUFFOONS can't go pushing people around at the slightest excuse. [BLEEP!] M One thing to say, man. Perm is a Grime rip-off. Fucking right. [BLEEP!] M What a waste of time this Rant Line is. Why don't you use it for important things--like politics, like poverty, like joblessness? Stuff that people could phone in and use to start a REVOLUTION. Instead, you get all these idiots talking about their hip hop bands or that they didn't like the review of their group. What a bunch of assholes. Do something important with your goddam lives and ignore music--it's a bunch of shit. [BLEEP!] M I'm calling about the rant last night where someone said that Tom Sontag was a better DJ than his brother Tiga. That may be, but then at the end, the guy goes "fucking prick." I had to call about that. I was in Tom Sontag's graduating class, and he's the nicest guy you'll ever meet in your entire life. He was the first person of my own age group, as we might say, who I CAME OUT to, and he was great about it, okay. So anybody from Selwyn House who is reading this, see if you can guess who this is, 'coz there was at least one person, probably more than that, in your graduating class who was QUEER. Hint, it's not Brendan. And oh yeah, Tom Sontag isn't 10, he's 17. Or are you just printing the rant seven years out of date? [BLEEP!] F [w/non Jake Brown-type voice] Hey, this is Jake Brown. Give me all your MONEY and take off your PANTS. [BLEEP!] Next week: Open forum.
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