>>Highs

Slut Trax Jockey Slut magazine starts a label off right with Christopher Just's mad digit-house voice-box anthem "Disco Dancer." More!

Bad '80s party rap Young MC. Tone Loc. Bring it on. With the videos, please.

DJ Joey Ramone A very of-the-times career move, no?

Ice Storm '98 on E "It's not the drugs talking, but those icicles hanging out your nostrils make you look really beautiful..."

Ice Storm '98 on acid "It's not the drugs talking, but the those icicles hanging out your nostrils make you look like a Kurdish yak herder from outer space..."

The Stomp Store Local ska label opens boutique on Rachel, Feb. 2. Hello Mr. Perry, nice to have ya back!

>>Lows

Knights in white satin Now that Elton's titled, we nominate Gary Glitter.

Killer trees Sonny Bono, Michael Kennedy, a really poopy episode of the X-Files and all the rest of this week's foliage disasters.

Backstreet Plus If we see that footage of those ugly boys in New York's Virgin Megastore once more, we will definitely stop watching that channel we have already vowed six times to stop watching. Pathetic.

What all that Japanese print on your flyer really means "Milk paper cat?" Hmmm.

Making old-guy jokes about the Rolling Stones Yes, they're depressing. But your jokes are even worse ("The Rolling Bones?" Ho, ho.).

Word-sensitive DJs Oh, you call what you do "blending" and not "spinning?" So sorry, you little turd.