Trash Can 3000

>> James DiSalvio takes our Spreadable Pop Culture Quiz!

Quizmaster: CHRIS YURKIW

In these glorious, post-Tarantinian times, the minutiae of pop culture has become a virtual language--and we're not talking cybercrap here. If you don't get the Simpsons references laced throughout my everyday conversation, well, I don't know how you're going to understand half of what I say. It's the same with samples in music: if you don't catch the clips of Kiss, Peter Frampton and The The in, say, Bran Van 3000's sampledelic Glee, you're not getting the full experience. So to up the ante on main Bran Man James DiSalvio, we let him loose on our Spreadable (Cheeze) Culture Quiz, figuring that anyone who would adorn their debut album with an air-brushed van mural should know a thing or two about the worst (and best) of bacterial pop culture. DiSalvio scored just 38 per cent, but the test was rigorous, hazardously traversing media, decades and international boundaries. The Bran Man's got other things on his mind these days, too, including an upcoming surgical-strike tour of the U.S. to quench demand driven by the stateside release of "Drinking in L.A.," not to mention the worldwide, February release of a tightened Glee. Joy!

YUP! 1. Which hair-metal band had a hit with a cover of Slade's "Cum On Feel The Noize" in 1983? Quiet Riot

YUP! 2. After Saturday Night Fever and Grease, producer Robert Stigwood flopped with a film starring Peter Frampton, the Bee Gees and the music of the Beatles. Which film? Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

YUP! 3. Little Eva and Grand Funk took this song to #1, but Kylie Minogue only hit #3 in 1988 with her version. What song? "The Loco-Motion"

YUP! 4. Current James Bond Pierce Brosnan starred in a TV detective series in the '80s. What was its name? Remington Steele

NOPE! 5. For which album did Kiss finally take off their face paint? Unveiled! No, wait. Unmasked!! Kiss Unmasked!!!

YUP! 6. A child actor was once rumoured to have died after he consumed pop rock candies and Coke at the same time, causing his stomach to explode. Name his character in the famous TV ad for Life cereal? Mikey! Oh, you even gave me Life cereal. I remember that like it was yesterday: "Mikey's dead!!!"

NOPE! 7. Canadian actor Leslie Nielsen is brother to which former Conservative cabinet minister? Shit. Uh. Nielsen. Minister Nielsen

NOPE! 8. Bryan Adams replaced Nick Gilder in which Vancouver band, before going solo? Uh, Vancouver band? Chilliwack

NOPE! 9. How many movies were in the Planet of the Apes series? Four, including The Simpsons episode where they turned it into a musical

NOPE! 10. Which former supermodel replaced Bob Saget as the host of America's Funniest Home Videos this season? Bob Saget? Bob Saget? Bob Saget should die!

NOPE! 11. Milli Vanilli were stripped of their 1989 Grammy Award after it was revealed they did not sing on their debut album. Which Grammy did they win? Um, Best R&B Album

1/2 12. Curly, Larry and Moe. Name the fourth Stooge. Shep

YUP! 13. Name AC/DC's original singer. Oh! Bon? Was it Bon? No, he was the later one. Was it Bon Scott?

NOPE! 14. Jim Varney played which character in a series of dumb-and-dumber movies? Oh shit! My brother was in Snowboard Academy with him and Brigitte Neilsen...

NOPE! 15. Which still-famous radio announcer had a hit in 1976 with "Disco Duck"? Casey? Casey Kasum?

NOPE! 16. What is the name of Dan Aykroyd's current sitcom? Uh, Help Me?

YUP! 17. What was the first commercial video game, which recently celebrated its 25th anniversary? I think Checkers was the first, but I'll say Pong

NOPE! 18. Which Montrealer co-wrote "Sugar Sugar," among other hits, for The Archies? Nick Auf der Maur

1/2 19. Name three television series produced by Aaron Spelling in the 1970s. Uh, Love Boat... Fantasy Island... and uh... I don't know a third

NOPE! 20. To which fellow brat-packer was Demi Moore engaged before she married Bruce Willis? Uh... Gary Coleman!

NOPE! 21. Name the five Spice Girls (nicknames accepted). Uh, Louise, Shaquilla, Dominique, Tam and Diana

NOPE! 22. Before Baywatch, David Hasselhoff starred in a TV series with a talking car. What was its name? The Dukes of Hazzard!

1/2 23. Name the seven stranded castaways on Gilligan's Island. Gilligan, the Skipper, the movie star, Mary Ann, Mr. & Mrs. Howell and Ginger

YUP! 24. The Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight" used the backing track of which disco hit? "Good Times"

NOPE! 25. Name Scooby-Doo's young cousin, who had his own Saturday morning cartoon. Gabby! Gabby-Doo?

Answers to the questions DiSalvio missed: 5. Lick It Up ; 7. Eric Nielsen; 8. Sweeney Todd; 9. Five (Planet of the Apes, Beneath The Planet of the Apes, Escape From the Planet of the Apes, Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, and Battle for the Planet of the Apes); 10. Daisy Fuentes; 11. Best New Artist; 12. Shemp; 14. Ernest; 15. Rick Dees; 16. Soul Man ; 18. Andy Kim; 19. Charlie's Angels and Starsky & Hutch are two others; 20. Emilio Estevez; 21. Baby, Sporty, Scary, Posh, Ginger or Emma, Mel C., Mel B.,Victoria, Geri; 22. Knight Rider; 23. Gilligan, The Skipper, The Professor, Ginger, Mary Ann, Mr. & Mrs. Howell; 25. Scrappy-Doo.

Bran Van 3000 play the Spectrum next Saturday (sold out) and Sunday, Jan. 24 & 25. 8pm, $22.50, tax inc.