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Who are you? >> The latest crop of hyped British pop bands that will probably never break here in 1998! by MIREILLE SILCOTT This is a bit about bands, most of whom you'll probably never hear much of. Most of whom, often for good reason, will never get non-college radio play in North America. Bands who've already hinted that they are the Best Band in the World or something equally as wrong, bands that all say very vehemently, "We don't give fuck," or as the British inkies would have it, "a F----" about those "c----ts Oasis." Yup. It's the latest crop of medium-range British pop rockers. Not the Pulps or the Blurs, but the kinds of bands with the cocky quotes, Ben Sherman shirts, studied bed-hair and perfectly hanging Oxfam corduroys--the ones whose names you catch the odd time you see a British chart and have no clue about. Bands that will say they don't care to reach this continent anyway, and then will spend a good part of their second and third albums trying to do exactly that. So who will be 1998's Mansun? This year's Cast? My money for absolute overload in the Britpress of '98 and dire obscurity here are Embrace and Travis, both of whom have by now been highly compared to the Verve or the Gallaghers, and seem destined to do some collaboration with someone "important" at some festival in Wales this summer. But here's a couple of other groups also, corduroys and tresses all hanging in the same direction. Embrace: The particular darling of the British rock press at the moment. Mouthy Northerners highly "confident" by post-Oasis British standards, probably needlessly self-aggrandizing by North American scales. Have been compared to the Verve more than anyone else. Have already recorded with a 40-piece orchestra at Abbey Road. Singer Danny MacNamara can't sing his sensitive ballads too well. Terrible name. Called themselves the Best Band in the World? Yes, many times. Chance of breaking here: 40 per cent
Called themselves the BBitW? No. They so patently are not. Chance of Breaking here: 15 per cent
Called themselves BBitW? Have called themselves black. Chance of breaking here: 10 per cent Ultrasound: A more "serious" band, not pretty like the others. Lean towards drama, pretentia, space-rock and freeform prog doodlings. Singer Tiny has the two impediments of being in his mid-30s and weighing about 350 pounds. Has already gotten one inevitable "King Tubby" headline (in Select). Still on indie label Fierce Panda, but NME has already warned that "in 1998, they threaten to hover over rock like the giant pig floating over Battersea Power Station on that Pink Floyd sleeve." Talented, self-deprecating. Called themselves BBiTW? No, no. They don't talk that way. Chance of breaking here: 50 per cent, but not for a while The Seahorses: More established than any of the aforementioned, mostly due to guitarist John Squire, formerly of the revered Stone Roses. Horrid, horrid Britpop that has been selling out venues around the U.K. all year. Well on their way to snagging a cute press nickname ("the Horses," "the Seas," something like that) within the next couple of months. Called themselves BBitW: Squire must have during his more "out there" Roses days. Chance of breaking here: 2 per cent. Have not. Will not. None of these bands will be playing sell-out shows in Montreal any time soon
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Travis: Prone to chanty, pubby, chirpy rock anthems and angsty, whining ballads, which are horrible. Allegiance to the '60s. Often seen jumping in colourful photos, album called Good Feeling, peppy chart number called "Happy," and one called (sheesh) "All I Want to Do is Rock," which Noel Gallagher liked so much he asked the band to tour with Oasis. They did. Hugely contentless.
Hurricane #1: The new project of shoegazing band Ride's guitarist Andy Bell. Not good the way Ride were. Floppy derivative Caucasian guitpop with lots of organs, jangly bits, Noelrock guitars, rolling basslines and words like "dream" and "illusion." Big with girls in college. Andy Bell has said of his band: "We are black. Diana Ross is white." Er, okay.