Angel >> Hydro-Québec's field technicians Admittedly, this one's an easy choice. Let us make it clear that this is not a vote of confidence in Hydro's white-collar bureaucrats, whose performance remains to be evaluated (they have been downsizing the corps of field technicians for some time now, and even had to call many back from retirement to deal with the crisis). But the storm has made us all realize just how impossible it would be to colonize this corner of the planet without electricity. If human civilization is a house of cards, field techies are part of the bottom row; the rest of us stand tenuously on top of them. So to the people putting in 16-hour days in the cold, only to return to homes without power: thanks.

Insect >> Profiteers who use natural disasters as an excuse to gouge people The Great Ice Storm will also go down in history as the Great Rip-Off. Stories abound--everything from gas stations jacking up prices at the pump (instigator identified on radio: a formerly government-owned major gas chain) to major retailers profiteering from the shortage of batteries (perpetrator identified on radio: a highly successful department store chain whose name begins with a letter near the end of the alphabet). Radio reports also said that price tags mysteriously went missing at some hardware stores (belonging to a high-profile chain prone to advertising during hockey games). One Mile End hardware store even took all the battery packages off the shelves, opened them behind the counter, and sold the batteries individually for $5 apiece. Hope you all freeze in the dark, you greedy little mealy mouthed weasels.