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This week: A call for a ska truce, Sphinx "poetry," Rita's excellent rotis! Plus: College radio promotes itself!! "edited" by AL SOUTH M Hi, this is Bobby from the Kingpins. And yes, it's really me, so don't print the words "someone claiming to be Bobby" in brackets. Now, some of you may have noticed that the Kingpins and Gangster Politics have been slamming each other in the Rant Line recently. Well, it is time to call a TRUCE. It's time for us to put an end to our differences and work together. It's time to combine our efforts so that we can stand united against that REAL enemy: the Planet Smashers! [BLEEP!] M Yeah, about this Morality Squad business. We have to CLAMP DOWN on these SSG bands Tricky Woo and UVBC. Tricky Woo are always swinging their cocks around, and too much cock rock insults the audience. And UVBC are constantly getting naked... next they'll be SHITTING on the crowd. The Morality Squad has to start somewhere... it might as well be here. [BLEEP!] M This is a plea to the organizer of the Session. Please, please, please, please, please get rid of the MC. [BLEEP!] M I am going to imagine for a minute that this is the Praise Line. I would like to praise all the artists in the city who really try to make a difference, all the people who put aside recognition and try to make things good for the future and the world. And also I'd like to praise Jardin Tropicale, which is the West Indian restaurant on St-Viateur near St-Urbain. I just finished a huge ROTI and rice and plantain, all on this cold wintry Wednesday night, right here on the Plateau/Mile end. Praise to Rita and her roti! [BLEEP!] M My name is Richard, and I agree with the person who criticized the hopeless dancers on Bouge de là. They are RUBBISH. The problem is, people don't know what dance is all about. But me and my friends go often to Sona, and there is one guy there who really knows how to dance--the contrast between him and the other dancers is so obvious. It is a delight to see him dance, his graceful movements are astounding. I've heard he doesn't get paid, but I would suggest to the Sona owners that they should consider it. What he brings to the club is a new dynamic. If the Bouge de là girls want to see what to do, they should go to Sona. He is the best dancer I've seen in the whole rave movement. [BLEEP!] F Yes, hello. I'm calling about the Mirror's Upside/Downside, the highs and lows of the week, which compared the SWING revival to Bouge de là. How dare you? Sacrilege! Swing music is alive and well and continues to echo as a living tradition. All you swing kids, make sure you come out and dance your ass off. Put your arms in the air! For whenever there's music, the devil kicks, he don't allow music for any puffed-up pricks! You're wicked and you're depraved and you all misbehave! And if you wanna be saved, swing you sinners! [BLEEP!] M To the guy who said it was disgusting to see a video with a tall skinny guy lying on a couch, namely Marilyn Manson, I DON'T THINK SO. What would you rather see, a SHORT FAT guy? Is that what you're saying? Is it?! [BLEEP!] F Hi, I just put on CKUT and once again I'm being INFORMED. I don't think they inform enough, I think 24 hours a day of information isn't enough. Screw music! Screw it altogether. More information! One doesn't need music. Just a steady dose of politics and PLIGHT--that's all a radio station needs. [BLEEP!] M This is Mike and I'm the program director at CRSG Concordia Radio. This is for everybody out there who is sick of CKUT and wants to start listening to CRSG. It's actually easy--we are available on cable FM. All you've got to is take your cable, plug it into one of those VHF adaptors that you use for the old TV sets, screw that into the back of your radio and listen to 88.9 cable FM. Then you get the wonderful world of CRSG. Thank you. [BLEEP!] M Hi, hello, this is DIMEBAG from CFLI Radio Concordia. If you have the balls you'll put this goddam rant in there. CFLI has been in this city for too goddam long for you not to publish something about it. CFLI Radio Concordia, 88.5 at cable FM in stereo. Throw on your cable, get silly, listen to us, do what ever you want. Just listen to the goddam radio! [BLEEP!] FAXRANT Whoever grabbed my pitcher at the SPHINX/Whoever snitched my beer--nay stole outright/What happiness I'd purchased for the night/To he or she: I think you are a dink/I had no money for another drink/and I was still a little sober, quite/Put out, I couldn't get completely tight/I hope you went home and puked in your sink/I hope you were hungover the next day/Poetic justice for an act so vile--to take a man's beer while he tries to dance to "Chant Number One" by Spandau Ballet/is lower than the lowest form of guile/and dirtier than publishing your rants. [BLEEP!] Next week: How about some "poetry" from other bars? Bifteck? Di Salvio's? Sky? Copa?
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