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This week: CKUT and Gangster Politics defended, Electric Circus vs. Bouge de là. Plus: Hutchence killer revealed! FAXRANT Yo! Annabelle of the Funky Ass Folk Babes here with a response to El Dweebo who dissed CKUT. CKUT fuckin' ROCKS! People do too listen. Speaking from the indie women's music/performance perspective, CKUT is one of the main things in this oversaturated world that ensures people know about and come to the shows we organize. CKUT supports awesome art, gives a foothold to up-and-coming music and gives voice to causes that get ignored by mainstream media. And everyone there works their butts off to make it happen. So cut it with the bad attitude and tune in to the present moment. CKUT RULES. [BLEEP!] M I really don't see the point of slandering a benevolent, volunteer-run radio station like CKUT. The station is all of ours to use and to take part in as we see fit--it exists via those who contribute to it. If you don't like it, join it! Do your own show. I challenge last week's ranter to take a proposal down to CKUT and make a local artist's show himself. If the issue was music, fine. If the real motivation was simply to find something to bitch about, then shut up, please. CKUT boasts some 10,000 listeners, so get with it. [BLEEP!] FAXRANT This is for the guy who tried to associate Gangster Politics' lyrics with, of all things, "date rape." I've heard the song in question, it's really fucking cool, and I've seen GP in concert a number of times. You obviously haven't. Guess what I've concluded: you are a misinformed IDIOT, wasting time to BEAT ON local bands' reputations. Motivated by jealousy, perhaps? GP's music does not and never has promoted violence. It is for dancing! Aren't you losing sight of what is important here? [BLEEP!] M Hey, this is [someone claiming to be] Liam from Gangster Politics. I'd just like to say that our song is not about date rape. You can check the lyrics on the Internet if you're that interested. It's getting a little bit immature of everyone to keep ranting like this, so let's take it down a little bit, boys. [BLEEP!] M Hello, this is [someone claiming to be] Dave from the Planet Smashers. This is a reply to the idiot who dissed Gangster Politics about their supposed date rape song. Get your facts right, dummy. It's not a song about date rape--it's about MASTURBATION. [BLEEP!] F Yeah, this is in response to Jake Brown's rant defending Todd Swift. He said Todd Swift helps the little guy. Well, that's exactly it--he helps the little GUY, guy being the imperative word. Any girl on the scene is either fuck-worthy or not worthy. So screw everybody who thinks that Todd is Mr. Superhero, 'coz I certainly don't. [BLEEP!] M Yeah, I used to think Marilyn Manson was pretty cool--until I saw his latest video, where he's, like, on the couch NAKED. I mean, who wants to see a tall skinny guy on the couch naked? That's disgusting, man. [BLEEP!] F So Hole's album release date has been postponed. Big surprise. Why doesn't Courtney Love just admit it: she's sold out to Hollywood. And yeah, she's a pretty good ACTOR, and that's what she wants to be, apparently. So now watch this, she's gonna try to slop off some half-hearted crap on us after four years of waiting. Why bother at all? She's not going to be able to give Hole's fans what they really want anyway, she's just not the same person she was four years ago. She'd be better off just leaving music for good--obviously her heart's not in it anymore. [BLEEP!] FAXRANT This fax rant has been written by one opinionated F. I used to study at Dawson and I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed that these girls have IQs as low as their grades. Hello! This isn't the Dôme! I am all for self-expression and dressing the way you want, but there's a difference between looking like a well-dressed student and looking like a well-dressed SLUT. And please, to any of those girls, I have one word: SUPPORT. Anything beyond a B-cup truly needs a bra. [BLEEP!] M Yes, hello, my name is Steve. I'm sitting here watching TV and I'm switching between Electric Circus and Bouge de là. And I just find it very strange: how come the dancers on Bouge de là really suck and the dancers on EC really kick ass? And how come I have a raging hard-on which ever one I watch? Could someone follow this up for me? Thank you. [BLEEP!] F [Tantalizing voice of Mirror Sex Advice columnist Sasha] My anatomy? Well put it this way--every cab driver I've ever had always tells me that, in his country, I'd be very popular. [BLEEP!] F I know Michael Hutchence didn't kill himself, he would never do that. And I know who did it, too: Tia Carrera, that little bitch! We all know she did it, and hopefully it won't be too long before they LOCK HER UP! [BLEEP!] Next week: How important is autoerotic asphyxiation to the local scene?
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