>>Highs

Rakim! Coming to Montreal in January to give "hip hop workshops." We don't know what that means either, but it sounds good!

Oasis! January 14, mate!

Luba Lounge Just what we need. Another lounge with brick wall/faux-baroque decor and modely waitresses. And vat-sized beer mugs. Er, see ya there.

Crap electronic artists where they belong The Crystal Method were jailed for suspicion of "supplying" the drug GHB on Oct. 24. (Unfortunately, they were released one day later.)

"Whoridin'" The best hip hip word in ages (it means a preoccupation with big names. Guilty.)

>>Lows

Bouge de là Now unequivocally the worst show in the history of music TV.

"Welcome to Pegabo, my name is Mike" Thanks, but I'm not spending the day or planning on a relationship. The most annoying kind of retail.

Swing revival The boogie-woogie-bugle blow is wearing a bit thin, no?

That nasty brown lipliner Hey! Did you smear a Mars Bar all around your mouth?

Press conferences for dummies Rockbitch: Maybe they pissed out their IQs?