|
This week: Lucky cellos, ska date rape, Tricky Woo's bar codes. Plus: Morality Squad praised for brave stance on Rockbitch! "edited" by AL SOUTH F To all the bleeding hearts who made such a stink about the hassles that poor Rockbitch went through. How would you like it if there was a ROCKBASTARD group? Pissing on each other on stage, giving each other blowjobs, screwing a female fan and sodomizing a male member? Just asking such a question is answering it. There is NO WAY such a show would go on, no way. So why is it always different for women? Every time a woman wants to degrade herself or degrade others, it's always freedom of speech. Fuck freedom of speech! [BLEEP!] F Rockbitch should definitely NOT have been allowed to play here--they are not worthy of our Montreal GAY-ISM. They should stay in their own territory and not put their fat ugly tits in our town! [BLEEP!] F Since the Rant Line is supposed to be about music, I want to talk about this band Tulip that I saw last week at Cabaret. Okay, the drummer and the bassist are like these big fucking sexy leprechauns. And the girl who plays the cello, with the way her legs were wrapped around that thing... I was never bisexual before, but oh, to be a cello! [BLEEP!] M This is Jake Brown from YAWP!... again. I'm sorry, I know I said I would never rant again, but kismet forces it. If I hear one more word against Todd Swift, I'm gonna RALPH! When I started my poetry shows two-and-a-half-years ago, Swift was the only guy in town who lifted a finger to help me. He featured me at his show Vox Hunt, he gave me the names and numbers of all the artists he had found and developed. He just gave them to me. And now he's doing the same thing for Toth Harris, who started The Devil's Voice, another spoken-word show. Todd is helping him in the same way. Todd Swift helps the little guy--no one else in this town helps anyone who's little. Fucking pricks. [BLEEP!] F Yeah, I've got a rant about the local music scene. Local label SSG fucked up on the bar coding on all of their Tricky Woo CDs. Hence every Tricky Woo CD that they've sold, all of the profits have gone to some unknown French band instead of Tricky Woo! I just thought you might like to know that. [BLEEP!] M I would like to address this rant to the person who complained that Gangster Politics was not on the All Skanadian 3 compilation. I'm sure, of course, that the person was actually a Gangster Politics FAN and not in reality a band member trying to get cheap publicity, as I know they would never do anything like that. However, I would like to say that Gangster Politics would probably have a lot better chance of getting on All Skanadian 4 if they submitted a song that did not trumpet the merits of DATE RAPE, as was the case for their All Skanadian 3 submission. Have a nice day. [BLEEP!] F Grace Jones was close to my heart, and my girlfriend's heart. Until Sunday night, that is, when we had to wait until one in the morning for four songs and then BEG for her to come out and play a little bit more. Basically, it was a shitty evening, it cost a lot of money, and my respect for Grace Jones has gone down very, very low. [BLEEP!] F I was at the U2 concert and I'll tell you what: I have an answer as to why the Montreal music scene sucks. It's because there's no more rebellion in rock 'n' roll. Where has it gone? There wasn't even any WEED at the U2 concert for as far as the eye could see. Maybe people up in the nosebleeds had some, but not where I was--nobody in my section was even DRUNK. People were cranky and rude and I'm sure Bono--the infinite god Bono--must have felt unloved. No one even cheered when he asked who was Irish! [BLEEP!] M Hi, this is to denounce the shittiest rave ever, the Circle rave which took place at Red Light. They sold twice as many tickets as their capacity. So after I took the one shuttle bus available, I waited for four hours in the cold with my $30 ticket, only to be finally told that because of my coat I couldn't get in. That's the second time this has happened to me, and it won't happen again. My rave years are OVER. [BLEEP!] M To that numbnut ex-cop who said he's still working in the serve-and-protect industry. What is that, a euphemism for security guard? Pathetic! A security guard is just a cop wannabe who failed the which-end-of-the-billy-club-to-hold test. [BLEEP!] M To that cop who complained about having to make split-second decisions. What kind of decisions? To choose between the cream-filled or the jelly donuts? To choose between Dunkin or Tim Horton's? You poor baby. [BLEEP!] F I don't want to sound prejudiced or anything, but I think that from this day forward all PIGS should be banned from calling the Rant Line unless they have something intelligent to say. And let's face it, that ain't gonna happen until they learn how to FLY. [BLEEP!] Next week: Who should the Morality Squad clamp down on next?
Got an opinion on the local music scene? |