Authentically American by MIREILLE SILCOTT "For too long, electronic dance music has been the domain of studio-oriented British artists schooled in Detroit techno and Chicago house," starts the stoooopidest bio I've read in eons. "American originals the Crystal Method are helping to change that with their bristling brand of electronica." Americans are out of their minds. The Crystal Method, that vapid California duo who have pilfered everything they've got off the Chemical Brothers and say their name derives from "a woman named Crystal that we simultaneously had a crush on," (because drugs are bad and just say no, right?) are doing nothing for the sake of American dance except making it sound like British big stuff. A pathetic indication of a sheltered new school of U.S. artists who are not the start of any useful tradition, but an aberration which filches everything from overseas. They neglect the insanely gigantic dance music history of their own country. Which is about the least patriotic thing a Yankee twiddler could pull, isn't it? So those poseur bozos will be at Sona on the 17th, but the aforementioned gigantic dance music history of America chugs into Montreal this weekend in the form of a couple of parties. Firstly, Glenn Underground(!), Eddy "Flashin" Fowlkes(!) and Kevin Saunderson(!!) are on the bill for Circle's latest event. I've never written about anything Circle have put together yet. They always seemed to me part of a kiddie core, mainly francophone scene that bought into a rave ideology that most readers of this column had gone through already: Fractal flyers, one love, secret locations, gamey massages in crumbly corners. But this party's roster is too amazing not to have you whipping out the boiler suit again, because Victor Calderone from Eight Ball, techno-ist Crazy Erg from Frankfurt's Omen records and Spanish duo Lues & Clyne are booked also. But here's where things get confusing. Circle have just lost their space yesterday (Wednesday), and are thinking of moving their party to Storm for a weekend-long "festival," spread over Friday and Saturday. Already booked at Storm for this Saturday, however, is the big-enough bill of Detroit initiator Derrick May and watershed Manc label Paper Music's Miles Holloway and Eric Rug. Whether this harebrained combo plan will actually happen remains to be seen (it would be a miracle if it did). So I'll leave you to call Circle and Storm's info-lines (851-0096; 94-STORM, respectively) and just fill you in on the original Storm bill. You know all about Detroit's sexcapading May already (he's the gigantic dance music history bit here). But if you don't know that Paper is one of the labels that helped lift Northern England's reputation for horrible "'avin it" handbag, then GO TO THIS EVENT, if only to listen to the last incarnation of "studio-oriented British artists schooled in Detroit techno and Chicago house." Prices are $15 adv/$20 door. But if this whole merge goes down, you can expect a substantial price hike. And maybe the best sounding party of the year. Phew.