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This week: Dôme Culture, Joe from St-Léo, pasty white vegans, anal rudies.
Plus: Masturbating lesbians in boarding school! "edited" by AL SOUTH FAXRANT Wuz up Rant Line. I'm sending this to the girl who has a problem with the HELLENICS and the ITALIANS who go to the Dôme. I go to the Dôme and so do the rest of my 24 Hellenic friends. If you got a problem with us, you can kiss all 25 of our big, hairy Hellenic asses. Instead of insulting us, you should say THANK YOU, 'coz we are the only reason you motherfuckers have a Dôme to go to. So have some respect. Signed: Hellenic Posse, the Park Exer's and the Chomedey Boys. [BLEEP!] FAXRANT I think that it is very irresponsible for the English media to overemphasize "Dôme Culture" in ethnic terms. It's as if there's a conspiracy to make ethnic groups sound inarticulate (see Pulse, etc.). How would you like it if I lambasted all you culture-less, pasty-white VEGANS? Your political correctness and sensitivity is exclusively extended towards gays and linguistic groups. You know it. SHAME on you, hypocrites. Stop printing overt stereotypes like rants from a clichéd individual named JOE FROM ST-LÉONARD. I am offended and sick of it. Sincerely, a Maudite Ethnique. [BLEEP!] M This is JOE FROM ST-LÉO. This rant's about the one that the girl called in saying she went to the Dôme and that she liked the place but too bad there were so many Greeks and Italians. Well, the Greeks I could understand, but DON'T PUT DOWN THE ITALIANS. We're warm and beautiful people, we eat good, we don't bug anybody. So if you don't like it, why don't you go back to the West Island and go to those pubs that you guys go to. Cheers or whatever it is. Okay, ciao. [BLEEP!] F This is to the untalented jerkoff who bashed Puffy. Exactly what are you trying to say? That Puff Daddy is a CHUMP because he's making money and collecting all the BITCHES that you wish you could? So check yourself and stop being a HATER because you'll never get anywhere in life by being such a judgmental asshole. [BLEEP!] M This is a message for the ignoramus who did not understand what Wu-Tang represents. As far as I am aware, it is a clan of rappers. If you want to know more about them, I'd recommend that you take a visit to your local high school and look around for STUPID WHITE KIDS wearing T-shirts bearing their insignia. It resembles slightly an eagle and it says Wu-Tang across it. Yup. [BLEEP!] F I have a rant about those 18-and-up ska shows: I don't get why I have to be 18 to get in. I understand that you don't want to have a bunch of little kids there to take away your fun, but in five years when all of you are married with kids, who do you think is going to carry on the music? We STUPID LITTLE KIDS are the future of ska--without us ska is lost! And another thing: when did ska get to be so deep that only a mature audience can handle it? What could a 16 year old do that would ruin it for you!? I've been waiting all summer to see the Planet Smashers, now I can't even go because of a bunch of ANAL so-called RUDIES. [BLEEP!] M There are going to be Christian hypocrites and there are going to be boring Christian punk bands. But don't let a few examples paint your ideas about the population. There are true Christians making excellent music if you look hard enough. Hydro and the Prodigal Sons are creating groundbreaking techno, Five Iron Frenzy and the Supertones are making top-notch ska. Montreal would benefit from some positive music in the midst of a hopeless landscape--give these bands a chance. JESUS LIVES. Psalm 150 BPMs baby. Seth out. [BLEEP!] F Hi. This is Sandra, I'm working at a Felix and Norton out in TMR listening to CHOM, the best rock in the city. I just wondered, has anyone else in the city picked up that the CHOM DJS have become very, very HARSH and BRUTAL ever since Howard Stern signed on? Coincidence? I think not. [BLEEP!](Ed's note: Howard Stern imitators are everywhere, Sandra) FYeah, this is for the guy who wanted to watch Emily Z. and Christine M. have sex so he could masturbate. See, the thing here, buddy, is they are LESBIANS--they don't want men involved. If they wanted men, they wouldn't be lesbians! Get it straight, it's not difficult! [BLEEP!] M This is for the Masturbating Guy. So you look a little bit like a girl, huh? Hmm, I could go for that. So while you're sitting there masturbating and watching the girls, I wouldn't mind masturbating while watching you. You might like it, y'know--that is if you don't mind getting some SPUNK on your face. [BLEEP!] F Did you ever have a, like, bisexual retarded fucked-up friend? Well, I got a little story for you. I was in a boarding school and had this roommate, okay. And she, like, woke up in the morning and she asked me, 'Did you hear me masturbating last night? I kept calling your name.' Fucking freaky stuff for the one who has to live with that kind of girl! [BLEEP!] Next week: Does the Montreal music scene need more or fewer lesbians? Please elaborate.
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