Angel >> The Passport With Israeli Mossad agents' use of Canadian passports in their attempted assassination of a Hamas bigwig last week, the symbolic value of our passport has suddenly skyrocketed. The international intelligence community loves our passport, because a properly doctored one gets them into virtually any country in the world. There they pose as pleasant, innocuous Canadian tourists by day and wreak havoc by night. Your Canadian passport is currently worth about $500 on Montreal's black market, probably five times as much in, say, Prague. But don't sell. After all, if it serves as a perfect cover for Israeli spies, why couldn't it do the same for you? With a Canadian passport, for all anyone knows, you're a Mossad agent. Or James Bond. Your Canadian passport makes you so perfectly inoffensive, you can go anywhere and get away with anything.

Insect >> McDonald's The Quebec Federation of Labour says Ronald and his clown-suited lawyers are stalling the process of unionizing a franchise in St-Hubert. Now, we don't want to be dogmatic about the union thing. We understand that unions are not God's gift to workers, that they become fat bureaucracies just like multinational conglomerates, and that in many cases they just don't make sense. But if unionization makes sense anywhere on this earth anymore, it's got to make sense in a place where a bunch of teenagers do menial, repetitive and unrewarding work in a hot kitchen for minimum wage. Meanwhile, at Golden Arch headquarters, the thought never occurs to anyone that they might not have this little incident on their hands if they paid people a decent wage.