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This week: Suicidal tendencies, satanic lesbians, truck driver rage! Plus: Don't dis the insects!! F I'm calling 'coz I just read the Rant Line and you, like, totally changed it. It looks all NICE now. But that's NOT GOOD. It's not supposed to look nice. It's supposed to look like the Rant Line--not the NICE LINE. [BLEEP!] M I'm calling to rant about the Rant Line. Okay, I like the new format and all. But the BLEEPS, the bleeps really SUCK, man. I mean, the old bleeps were nice, they were bold, they were funky. But now it doesn't even look like a bleep. Reinstate the nice big funky bleeps! [Ed's note: BLEEP!] FI just want to say that the name of the [Mirror's] new column, Angels and Insects, really makes me mad. You could call it anything else: Angels and Idiots, Angels and Assholes, you decide, you're the creative ones. But don't DIS the INSECTS! Insects are absolutely indispensable to our planet. We need them, they don't need us. Only a tiny percentage of them are PESKY. They save lives in medicine, we should respect them. They work hard, they all have a purpose and some of them are truly beautiful. I know this sounds crazy, but I really mean it. Please change it! That's all, this is Sonya. [BLEEP!] M You know what's funny? Watching a person who has signed on to some bland fad of the month assert his or her hipness by insulting members of some lower, even blander sect. Without realizing that regardless of which trend they buy into, they're buying COKE for the same record company executives. It's amusing--it's like watching cockroaches and maggots fight over dogshit. [BLEEP!] M I'm calling to educate the people of Montreal that the busker article last week was a little inaccurate. You seemed to have forgotten to mention the buskers of Old Montreal, who are the most hard-assed, hardcore motherfuckers I've ever come across. And that's including Europe and the rest of Canada. Do your research next time. Peace. [BLEEP!] M Yeah, this message goes out to Frida the Kat, the Christian hypocrite. I'd like to start by saying that all Christian music is just a rip off of anything SATANIC. All you Christians, you better get your priorities straight. Sit back, look at yourselves, maybe even talk to yourselves in the mirror and find out the TRUTH. Look deep inside your souls--if god allows you to--and see the hypocrites that you really are. Thank you very much. [BLEEP!] M To the person who called in praising MSPX--there is no room for RELIGIOUS NUTS in punk rock. MSPX is a weak boring Christian band and their shit really sucks. [BLEEP!] FHi, this is Libby calling. I just have to bitch about something. I used to listen to Nine Inch Nails and stuff like that all the time until my mother KICKED me out of the house because she decided I was a SATANIC LESBIAN from hell. So now I'm living off the street with my best friend and life SUCKS. [BLEEP!] FOkay, two weeks ago I took acid with my sister and I suddenly started thinking about how much further my thoughts could go. I thought it might be time to KILL myself--but not until I fuck my math teacher, not until I get over my ex-boyfriend, not until Alain falls in love with me. It went on and on. So then I said to myself, hey, what's your point, Pat? Smoke yourself another big joint and relax. Which is what I did. Are you gonna print this? If you do, cool. [BLEEP!] M This is for the girl who didn't know what Wu-Tang was. As many of us remember, Wu-Tang was a really excellent new wave band who were popular during the '80s. They had several hits, including "Dance Hall Days" and "Everybody Have Fun Tonight," one of my all time favourites. "Everybody have fun tonight/Everybody Wu-Tang tonight." YEAH! [BLEEP!] F Hi, I went to the Dôme yesterday. It was their anniversary, I got a pass. But I am sorry to say, there were too many Italian and Greek boys there. I I say boys, because if they were carded they would not get into the Dome, or the "Doomee," for that matter. They had no manners, they cut in line. But thanks to Troy for giving us free drinks all night. [BLEEP!] M [traffic noises in the background] Yeah, this is just to bitch about Transport Quebec. I'm a TRUCK DRIVER and it would be nice if they would let us know more clearly what and exactly where and when they're going to be doing construction. [Honks horn]. Fucking assholes. [BLEEP!] M Hello, this is for Emily Z. and Christine M. I'd just like to say forget about Tyler and Max--if you're gay, that's okay. But when you "go all the way," I wouldn't mind watching and MASTURBATING. You two sound kind of cute and when I read your rant I masturbated. I don't want to join in or anything like that, just watch. So if you don't mind a nice-looking guy watching and masturbating, leave a rant next week, if you feel like it. Actually, I look a little bit like a girl, so you might like it. Okay, bye. [BLEEP!] Next week: Open forum
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