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"EDITED" BY AL SOUTH This week: The reconciled world, Dylan Studebaker's pigeon, L.A. Glam Boy's non-glamness! Plus: Rant Line called superficial, trivial, absurd! f Music is an indirect force for change because it provides an anchor against human tragedy. In this sense it works towards a reconciled world. It can also lead to a direct experience of change. At certain points during some shows, the reconciled world is already here, at least in that second, at that place. Those seconds reveal that the momentum that drives the subculture is more important than any particular band. Momentum is made of all the people who stay interested and keep their sense of urgency and hope. [BLEEP!] f I just want to say that Bran Van 3000 is the best band in all of Montreal and that James Di Salvio is the SEXIEST motherfucker I've ever seen and I want to SLEEP with him. Girls out there, isn't he just the sexiest thing EVER? I'm hooked! [BLEEP!] m Yeah, this is the singer from L.A. Just read the rant from the guy who retorted against me. Number one: who you calling GLAM BOY? I don't remember saying I was into glam rock. And I DID hack it in L.A.: I came out here to work with Trevor Horn and Paul Northfield and a couple of real people that you CLOWNS have never even seen on the street. Number two: I don't wear Spandex. I don't wear anything that costs under a G-note, and I got long black hair. And if I do go back to L.A., you won't miss me 'coz you don't know me, asshole. By the way, there is no glam scene in Los Angeles. Later. [BLEEP!] m Hi, my name is Paddy, I'm calling about Dylan Studebaker's magic show. I don't know what all the huff is about, I've seen his show, there's nothing wrong with it. I don't think he's a FASCIST, he's a very interesting young man. However, I once saw an act that he did with a PIGEON and there sure were a lot of feathers flying around. I do hope no harm came to that bird. [BLEEP!] f I am an employee of the Festival Just for Laughs and I am tired of people screaming about the somewhat high prices of products for the Jazz Festival. You get to sit in the sun for free and watch these great musicians entertain you. Don't you wonder how they're supposed to pay for these shows, especially now that the fest is having some financial difficulty? [BLEEP!] m I'm calling to rant about the Masters at Work show on CKUT. Is it possible for them to play two songs in a row without interrupting? Is it possible to reduce the mention of the phone number to, say, 500 times within the space of two hours? I know you guys have your own style, but is it possible for you to remember how LDG used to make us feel on a Saturday night before we went out? Is it possible for you to stop shouting out to your same people every week for the past five years? Listen, I'm gonna break it down for you all slow: stop saying 'OH DIGGITY.' And stop the uncharismatic sound effects, PLEASE. Peace. [BLEEP!] m Yeah, I'm calling about that rock star who complained about the pay-to-play thing at Jailhouse. Well, $60 is 15 people paying $4 each. If you can't bring 15 fans to your show, you SUCK. You probably play really bad music. If you go to a bigger showbar like Foufs or Cabaret or Café Campus, you'll pay a minimum of $200. And because you can't attract 15 fans, HELLO DEFICIT. Why don't you just go play the Tam Tams on the mountain--it's free. [BLEEP!] m Hi, this is Ted, the owner of the Jailhouse. I just read the rant about the $60 that you have to pay to play at our bar. First of all, we only ask people we don't know to pay $60. If we know the band and they can sell, they play for free. Secondly, if you really don't like paying to play, you can check out all the other bars. I think we offer a pretty good deal relative to every other showbar in this town of ours. And third of all, if you're that fucking good, why don't you GO TO L.A., man? I'd also like to say that the Rant Line is the biggest PUSSY way to make a complaint when you can easily call the people you're pissed off about. Have some guts next time, buddy. Leave your name at least, you WUSS. [BLEEP!] m Hi, this is Jimmy. I just moved here from Vancouver and I have to say, the Rant Line is ABSURD. I can't take it anymore! I have never seen such items of complete superficial triviality pass for items of local interest. And you know what? The Rant Line makes me feel that freedom of expression should be LIMITED to those who are capable of expressing it PROPERLY. Thank you. [BLEEP!] Next week: Freedom on the Rant Line will be limited to those who can express themselves properly. No, wait, on second thought... the more INCAPABLE you are of expressing yourself properly, the more LIKELY it is that your rant will be printed! Yes, that's it: the first ever EXTRA STUPID EDITION! Call early, call often...