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"EDITED" BY AL SOUTH This week: Backstage encounters, mosh pit molesters, Grim Skunk's missing answers. Plus: Garry T. is vehemently defended, as is a fairly large lizard! m This is for Haig from Zoobone Records. Listen, how much of a stupid fuck are you? How can you blame Garry T. Productions for DJ Shadow's poor performance? It is the artist who did a shitty show, not the promoter. Garry T. did his job, he brought DJ Shadow down. It's not his fault DJ Shadow sucked. Furthermore, Garry T. has been busting his ass for the last 10 years to build a hip hop scene in Montreal while motherfuckers like you do nothing but complain. He spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to build a scene, brought a lot of groups up here. Not everything went smoothly, but why are you blaming him? Why don't you go check with those racist fucks at the Champlain border and then you'll figure out why rap groups are always late for their shows. Get your facts straight before you start leaving rants--learn the fucking BUSINESS. Garry T. works hard, he deserves props, not denunciation from little fucks like you. [BLEEP!] m Hey, this Rickey D calling on behalf of my man Garry T., no doubt one of the hardest street hip hop promoters in the city. He's been in this business over 10 years doing his thing. No disrespect to Haig, but I don't think he knows what he's talking about--being that he's not even black. Saying that Garry T. hasn't done anything in the black community?! Garry T. gives his heart and soul. It's not his fault he can't dictate what an artist wants to do all the time. There's nobody else representing in this city other than Garry T. when it comes to hip hop. There's only one guy bringing in these shows and we BACK him and we all LOVE him. No doubt. [BLEEP!] m Look at this guy Haig, saying he's from Zoobone Records, dissing Garry T. He's just trying to dis T. to bring himself up. Anyways, that's not who you should dis, you should dis the promoters who decided to have Beenie Man and Buju Banton at Théâtre St. Denis. I reached there at 11, shit was finished at midnight. Montreal, we just gotta get our shit together. Peace. [BLEEP!] m I'm tired of hip hop people fighting and fighting and fighting. Why do you think Tupac died? And the big fat guy died? And the doorman died? Walk hand in hand for once. Fucking PEACE. Take care. [BLEEP!] m "Hello my name is BORIS, I've been on tour for most of my natural life..." And that was the beginning of my answers for the famous Mirror "Hello My Name Is..." feature which I was refused for because it seems my answers did not fit into the format. Or perhaps they found my answers too boring--when everyone I work with found them utterly HILARIOUS. I look here at the "Dodgy on fax" article and their stupid answers looked just about as witty as mine. So what the HELL was wrong with my answers?! By the way, I play with a local band named Grim Skunk and we were asked to fill this out. But if you're not going to print it, DON'T ASK US. [BLEEP!] m Animal rights activists, take note. Next time you're at the bar La Jungle on St-Denis, notice next to the guy's washroom there's a cage and in that cage is located a fairly large LIZARD. I think there should definitely be regulations that condemn this sort of activity, seeing as the lizard has to live in a smoky, bright-light-flashing, pounding-music type environment. If any agencies of law enforcement are reading, perhaps they could do something about the big mean old person who's to blame for this. [BLEEP!] m This is Alex from the Sugar Daddies and I'm calling to complain about all the tiny little TEENAGE GIRLS--including my girlfriend--who go to see Pavement and get all dressed up and end up having ENCOUNTERS backstage. All of these big name bands come from out of town and sweep the hearts of young girls away. You girls are putting these bands on a pedestal--you should start paying attention to the local musical scene, like my own band the Sugar Daddies. And all the other bands. [BLEEP!] f Okay, me and my friend Bev are here to rant about mosh pit molesters. [second f] Yeah, you're in a mosh pit at a concert, you go surfing and you end up coming out with NO SHIRT on. What's up with that? [first f] Yeah, the reason you go to a concert is to see a group you love, like Our Lady Peace, for example. You are not there to lose your clothes! [BLEEP!] f In answer to the question "Does Satan have too much influence on the local music scene?" There's a verse in the Bible, Ezekiel to be exact, which says that Satan was made up of a thousand musical instruments. So basically, since the devil rebelled against God, he started his own bad side of the music scene. So yes, it is Satan's fault: he is overpowering kids' heads through bad music. From Freda the Cat. HAIL JESUS. [BLEEP!] Next week: Open forum