Standing Queen Two years ago Montreal was itching to hear DJ Todd Terry. Playground thought of bringing him in, but weren't prepared for his fee--something to the tune of $5,000 (U.S.), a first-class flight from New York and two "friends" along for company. Was Terry taking the piss? Not really (that would be Junior Vasquez--$40,000 to grace Japan). The man sells truckloads of records. Bringing in a band like The Wallflowers costs the same. If Playground had brought Terry in, tickets would've cost around $25, which is what DJ Shadow charged two Sundays ago. But you can bet punters wouldn't have been standing, arms crossed as if at the races, while Terry was on. And they wouldn't have left two hours before closing time while another DJ spun, bitching about their money's worth. DJ Shadow isn't a band. Why people paid to watch him hitting switches instead of experiencing him is curious. No wonder they thought it was "boring." I bet he thought the same. The problem might be promotional. Shadow was hyped as a concert, as the "Jimi Hendrix of the sampler" to be exact, and so that's what was expected: acid flashbacks and instruments on fire. The Chemical Brothers are returning on May 14 with the planet's most adulated techno DJ, Carl Cox. Although he's not being billed as "the Jimmy Page of the turntable," I hope no one complains when the prog-rock pyrotechnics don't blast off behind him either. Dance culture is not standing-at-a-badminton-match culture. *** As written before, the reason I myself don't dance is because it's honestly far better for everyone that way. I might be unable to resist some doltish flutters at these upcomings, though: The Def Mix extravaganza at Sona, May 18 with NYC deep heavies Satoshi Tomiie, Lord G. and Baby Hec. Also, Playground is reopening as Storm. The space is smaller, revamped and has been soundproofed against the poutine-heads at La Belle Province next door (who had a mean button that could turn the club's sound off). May 16 has Ovum's King Brit and Josh Wink with Luc Raymond. May 17 is the pre-Wet & Wild with Alain Vinet and Mark Anthony. And May 18th is the "official" opening, featuring Mark Anthony, Tony Desypris and Tony Humphries. So the big-guest battle begins. Should be an expensive summer.