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"EDITED" BY AL SOUTH This week: Banjo career opportunities, Emmas everywhere, Shades defended. Plus: Spanky proposes fishy Galaxian deal! f Sometimes I feel really hurt that my friends are talking about me behind my back, just because I've dropped out of school and am pursuing the BANJO full time. I think that people should support you in whatever you do--they should be there for you and be sincere. And if my friends are not there to support me in my pursuit of banjo perfection, then they weren't really my friends to begin with. And yeah, what ABOUT the banjo scene? [BLEEP!] f Hey, I just got back from the Bloodhound Gang show and they were just AWFUL. I was expecting them to be juvenile, but their tracks were pre-recorded and the bass player and guitarist weren't even plugged in half the time. I was hoping that seeing them live would help me figure out if they were really a smart band or just a bunch of perpetual 15-year-olds. What I think now is that they are just as fabricated as the Backstreet Boys--I mean really, the idiots who were jumping off the stage were as bad as the mobs of pre-pubescent girls. It frightens me to think that anyone could take this band seriously. [BLEEP!] m Yeah, this one's to Leroy from NDG who dissed Shades of Culture. I don't see anyone else doing anything to improve the hip hop situation in this city and I'm sick of people complaining about it. Shades of Culture do On the Real every Saturday night at Jungle and I always see a lot of people there. But obviously you don't arrive. [BLEEP!] m Yo, Leroy, yo, yo, yo, you SUCK, you know what I'm saying. O'Ryan rules, man, he's been writing rhymes since you were in your diapers pissing your bed. He does more for the community than you--what you doing? Nothing! [BLEEP!] m Yo, this is RD from Anjou. Yo, Leroy, I completely agree with you when you say the hip hop scene in Montreal sucks a little bit, but it's unfair to attack Revolution of Shades. You're attacking him because he's WHITE--it's reverse discrimination, the guy's pretty dope. If he was BLACK, I'm sure you wouldn't attack him. I think in Montreal we have to unite together and focus on our own reality instead of the reality of the States. Then we would be kicking it as they do in Europe. Later. [BLEEP!] m What's up, this is John Doe from Critical Thought. This is for Leroy. Yo, if you think that there ain't no one representing Montreal hip hop, then you ain't looking deep enough. And if you think that Montreal hip hop begins and ends with Shades, you got something else to think about too. But anyway, people should stop getting on Shades--they will play any fucking venue, they're representing Montreal hip hop all across Canada. And if you look deeper, you will find some other talented local crews--you just got to get out of NDG more, perhaps. [BLEEP!] m Hello Rant Line, this is Spanky speaking. I have some news. Our new blues band is called the Catfish and on Friday night we opened up for April Wine at the Spectrum, the most surreal experience of my life. Also, every Monday night we're at the Bar Fly. And for the chap who's looking for the GALAXIAN game, come see us at the Bar Fly and we can work out a DEAL. Take it easy. [BLEEP!] [Ed: Hmm... this wouldn't be a cheap promotional ploy, would it?] m I want to rant against American radio stations like the BUZZ 99.9. They keep on putting on these good songs but they keep on blanking out the SWEAR WORDS. What's going on with that, they're ruining the guy's song! Just leave the artists to express themselves and don't change the song by blanking out the words. That's BULLSHIT. [BLEEP!] m This is Matt and Dee Dee from EMMA. Listen, José [from Rancho Relaxo Productions], we're really, really sorry about covering up your posters, but it was our drummer who did the postering. We just had it out and now he's walked out pissed, so we're not gonna be able to practice tonight. So you're right, man, the music scene is being killed by petty squabbling and pointless infighting. Oh yeah, one more thing: all press is good press. See ya next show. [BLEEP!] f Hi, this is EMMA from Lobotomy. I was just wondering what the hell's up with the senior citizen music scene happening these days? The Who, Aerosmith... you know you've been around too long when you start writing songs like "Love is Hard on the Knees." Get a fucking life. Leave space for us new people trying to get in there. [BLEEP!] m I'd like to leave a rant about record companies. I think they're the biggest SCAMMERS in the world, taking people's money and abusing them. For this reason we've started our own record label--we're a local band, perhaps you've heard of us. Look out for INDICA, this is the new thing on the block and we've just released Grim Skunk's next album. So see ya. [BLEEP!] m AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Pierre Péladeau controls us all!! [BLEEP!] Next week: Open forum.