What a poseurDemolition uncover the true meaning of the rock 'n' roll fakerby JOHNSON CUMMINS
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A ROCK 'N' ROLL POSEUR WHEN YOU: 1. Have a kick-ass Flying V guitar (but still need to ask the bass player to tune it for you between songs). 2. Must wear at least five pounds of metal on your body (piercings, rings, razor blades, anvils, etc.). 3. Pretend to be on cocaine while actually being on PCP. 4. Spend more time on your hair than on your sound check. 5. Scream at the lightman in the middle of your set. 6. Put yourself on a diet for the express purpose of looking like a junkie. 7. Go to the MIMIs in a stretch limo because your band got nominated for best logo. 8. Dream of dying of a methadone overdose just like Johnny Thunders. 9. Find put a roll of paper towels down your pants becoming an all-too-familiar before-show ritual. 10. Can't produce a half-decent answer as to why you sing in English when your first language is French. THE MIRROR'S HONOURABLE MENTIONS: Inane between-song banter like "Does everybody here feel all right!?" or "You know we played Toronto last night and they don't rock HALF as hard as you crazy motherfuckers!"; songs about pot; prayer sessions before shows; lead singers who start pits with only three people in the audience; thinking that "Knocking on Heaven's Door" was written by Guns N' Roses; naming a band Candelabra, Tassel, Ballast or Stereo Stereo; thinking Sebadoh is a laxative; having previous experience in a Ronnie James Dio tribute band called Holy Muff Diver; not getting a day job because you need time to "create"and, finally, air keyboards. Demolition play with The Sinisters & Coyote Shivers at Jailhouse Rock Saturday, March 22, 9pm, $5. 30 Mont-Royal E. 849-3030 |
Most bands hate the word "entertain," because the word "poseur" is never far behind. We at the Mirror, however, have noticed a proliferation of "entertaining" bands of late. So we asked the experts--Quebec City's Demolition are one band who successfully rock the Stooges/New York Dolls axis with poseurish tongue placed firmly in cheek. And fakies or not, their debut album Fun Bomb has the teeth of many local garage rock aficionados rattling, while still turning the heads of plaid-clad indy-ites. And they don't deny they dress to impress. So the Mirror sat down with Demolition's lead singer Ludwig Wax to try to unleash the true meaning of the enigmatic term.