by SHANE SINNOTT

If you’re a record executive, the last few weeks have blown—even more so than the last five years. When the Soundscan (the Nielsen-branded survey of record sales) figures came out for the week of May 30, they were the lowest ever recorded since they started tracking this stuff in 1994. Only 4,984,000 albums were sold a few weeks ago. To put that in perspective, in the last week of December, 2000, 45,400,000 albums were sold. Yes, that is a 90 per cent drop in sales in 10 years. Some are even saying this is the lowest week ever, or at least since the RIAA started keeping track of album shipments in 1973.

With this no doubt in mind, Universal Music Group CEO Jim Urie has sent out a desperate e-mail to supporters asking for help, in what is perhaps the biggest symbol of a dying industry. Don’t think he went easy on the hyperbole, though. “The music business is facing huge challenges from piracy and theft. Never before in American history has an entire industry been so decimated by illegal behaviour. Yet the government has not responded in a meaningful way to help us address this crisis,” he writes. Never before in American History? Jesus. He goes on to guilt the U.S. government by saying that other countries have been legislating and working with ISPs to combat the piracy problem, and then—and this seems like a complete lie—claims, “Sales have dramatically improved in these countries.” I’d like to know where that came from.

I sympathize with the fact that a bunch of record execs might lose their jobs, or becomes less rich than they currently are, but to suggest that the work with ISPs being done in France and the U.K. is responsible for a “dramatic” improvement is unproven at best, and an outright lie at the worst. These types should start acting like the free-market capitalists they’re supposed to be—come up with something worth paying for and stop griping about market forces completely outside your control. You can read the letter here: bit.ly/a3og9q.