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Dear Sasha, I consider myself “sort of” bisexual, in that I’ve had an encounter with another male that ended up with me giving him a hand job.
I’ve never seen a male on the street that I’ve thought was “hot” or wanted to have sex with, but the imagery of porn—penis in butthole, penis in mouth—is almost exclusively what I beat off to.
Aside from the genitalia, I have no aspirations to find a male mate. As a matter of fact, males in the real world have no attraction whatsoever. What the hell is up with me?
—B
Dear B,
I spend a lot of time talking to people about their tastes in pornography, and let me tell you, it’s a rare person who doesn’t get off on something they have no interest in enacting in real life. Years ago, these conversations began with a conspiratorial sheepishness. Now I find most people whose sexuality may not reflect their taste in porn fairly open about their viewing pleasures. They get it—it’s a fantasy. They won’t lose their lesbian badge because they like watching boys fuck. I’m not going to have my head shaved and be paraded through the streets because I like watching anal gangbangs.
You, though, have carried your fantasies into the real world. What does this make you? Just another “sort of” bisexual guy who likes giving the occasional handjob in porn theatres. See that guy sitting beside you? He’s one too.
Dear Sasha, Supposing I were to call an escort and have her come down to my apartment for sex, my question for you is this: after giving this woman between $100 and $300 of my hard-earned money, if that’s what it costs for this, how on earth am I supposed to achieve an erection? And don’t say she’ll give me one. Now that my mind knows I’ve just lost all that money, it ain’t happening. How do other men do this?
—Cheap Sex Freak
Dear Cheap,
Some men, like you, find the financial aspect of this transaction demoralizing, but those who don’t seem pretty goddamn grateful that someone actually can be paid to come over and fuck them. They don’t see this exchange as losing money, but rather as a consensual agreement between a client and a service provider.
If you are the type of person who sees yourself as a “loser” (both financially and personally) when you imagine giving someone money for sex then certainly, this attitude will reduce your enjoyment. And reasonably so. I mean, honestly, how are you supposed to loosen up when you see yourself as a loser and the sex worker as someone who does little more than profit off this quality? Unless you can change the way you think about this exchange, sex with a professional may not be the best way for you to get laid. I can tell you from the other end of things nothing sucks balls more than a client who acts like you’ve just conned them after you’ve very kindly and with great skill and care, shared your body.
Dear Sasha, I’m looking for a doctor for my Magic Wand. She is between life and death! I used her in Europe with an adaptor and now she makes noise but the head doesn’t vibrate. Help!
—Diane
Dear Diane,
While someone handy with electronics may be able to replace the cord on your Wand should it get frayed over time (and this can be avoided by coiling the cord below the unit rather than around it), what you’ve done in this case is essentially executed your vibrator by electrocution. As Reg of Reg’s Appliance Repair says, “If an adaptor doesn’t have a transformer to step the voltage down, you are putting 220 volts of power into an appliance that takes 110 volts.” This is likely what happened to you: you used an adaptor that was simply a universal plug with no power transformer.
“It’s fried,” is Reg’s grim prognosis. You’ll have to get a new one, but for goddess’s sake, let’s not allow this tragic lesson to go unlearned. Pass the word on to your Wand-loving friends who are travelling to countries that require adaptors to make sure these adaptors have power transformers.
Got any questions for Sasha? E-MAIL: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM
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