What an opportunity to kick off my first column of the New Year with an old but appropriate adage: opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one.
Pinsky, with his years of experience as a medical doctor and radio and television personality hosting shows with sexuality-based content, has undoubtedly acquired legitimate insights into the unpleasant side effects of anal sex. But he is just one of many accredited people who have acquired legitimate insights into the unpleasant side effects of anal sex, and the way these people dispense these insights varies considerably. Using a Venn diagram to compare and contrast, you will notice a couple of things. In one section exists a rather grim view (pants will undeniably be pooped) and in the other, a view that is more reassuring (done with proper care and attention, there should be no long term problems that don’t occur naturally with aging). In the intersection is the shared opinion that anal sex should be reconsidered if it is consistently painful or if a person is patently disinclined.
But let’s look at the original question (marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/tips/sex-tips-pro), which was how to make anal sex more comfortable. While I agree the word “comfortable” implies the writer is somewhat indifferent to the act, Pinsky’s not helping anybody by saying most women are trying to make it so simply to placate their lovers and that we all have every reason to be terrified of anal sex because we run the risk—even if we are conscious of our own tolerance levels and bodies—of our asses caving into our vaginas if we get them fucked. Jesus, it takes you 10 years to learn to wipe front to back and now it doesn’t even matter because the two are certain to be joined?
When I first began writing my column, it was difficult to find sex-positive resources on the topic. I once spoke to a proctologist who told me that routinely inserting anything larger than a big turd would likely have a person in diapers at some point. Perhaps he had seen some compelling evidence, but it also turns out some doctors bring phobic personal issues to their practices.
There are sources, however, which are more supportive rather than fear-based. Jack Morin’s classic book Anal Pleasure & Health is one that offers a more encouraging view. Tristan Taormino’s columns, books and films about anal sex are more positively focused. You can find them here: puckerup.com. Sex educator Betty Dodson (dodsonandross.com) also advocates in her inimitably enthusiastic way for anal pleasure and I doubt that, at 80, she’d be doing so if her own rear end looked like a piece of Pate de Campagne.
My best advice to you, Hector, is to read all you can about anal sex—the good, the bad, the dedicated and the dubious. If the source’s e-mail is available, question them personally. Weighing all the facts, you can then decide for yourself if you’d like to keep meatpacking on the menu. For my part, I’m pretty sure, given my general lifestyle, I’ll be plopping my pants in my senior years anyway. If getting reamed in the rear has anything to do with it, well, better that than just because I strained on the can too often with a Garfield collection.
Hey readers! I’ve started a Facebook fan page if you’re interested in keeping up with my workshops, speaking engagements and daily ramblings. Here it is:
facebook.com/pages/sasha-van-bon-bon/224814977682
