GOING
NUCLEAR

Once, the world was a place of innocence, where disgruntled employees were content just pissing in the boss’s coffee. Oh, for those simple days, all gone now, replaced by, at least at one nuclear power plant in India, a workplace water-cooler laced with radioactive isotope.

Much less repulsive than an angry co-worker’s urine but much more life-threatening, the radioactive isotope tritium, known to increase the risk of cancer, was discovered during end-of-day exposure tests given to the plant’s employees. A total of 55 people were given emergency medical treatment after the source of contamination was tracked to a water-cooler in a high-security area.

A statement from the Nuclear Power Corporation of India assures concerned citizens that there was no security breach involved in the “act of mischief.”

Although precisely who their culprit is was unknown at press time, India’s Science Minister, Prithviraj Chavan, says the water-cooler spiking was most certainly “the handiwork of a disgruntled employee,” of which there are 15 now being investigated.

by SCOTT SAXON