THIS WEEK: Billboard girls, school bullies, man boobs!

PLUS: Live report from a urinal at Reggie’s!!

M Hi Rant Line™. This one goes out to all those people who are bitching about music. Like the anti-Rush/pro-Rush people. Look, everybody’s got TASTE in music. Get over it. I happen to love Rush and Iron Maiden, but I’m not going to tell you what to listen to. So don’t go shit all over what I listen to, right? [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, for a big city, Montreal does not have any good radio stations at all—except for maybe one. CKUT is maybe the only good radio station and it depends what you’re listening to on there. As far as all the other radio stations go, they’re really, really BAD. Like CHOM, which makes people listen to music from 30, 40, 50 years ago. I mean, people don’t EVOLVE. They don’t listen to anything new. And it’s not for nothing that there are a lot of people calling the Rant Line™ and defending their musical tastes—most of them are LOST. They don’t know what good music is. They listen to crap. They are totally, totally lost. [BLEEP!]

M Hello Rant Line™. Just calling to say that the Jesus Lizard f’n rules. Thanks. [BLEEP!]

M I have something that I would like to add to this whole dreadlock debate. Why is it that people bust on white guys with dreadlocks but black girls walk around with those disgusting WEAVES and nobody says anything? [BLEEP!]

M This is to that guy who wants to PERSECUTE white people with dreadlocks. Well, you’ve definitely confirmed what I’ve always thought about people who think this. That you guys have shaved heads and you either look like escapees from a prison or escapees from a MENTAL institution. And you also confirmed to me that in your case, you’re a fucking racist Nazi bastard. Your talk about concentration camps and exterminating people can mean only one thing—that you’re a Nazi. Having dreads, man, is a lifestyle. It has nothing to do with race. White people, black people—don’t forget, the most famous guy with dreads, Bob Marley, was half-black, half-white. Dreadlocks have nothing to do with race. So go back, make your swastikas, put them on your forehead. Shave your head, Nazi bastard. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, this is the Judgmental Dreadlock-hating Douchebag. I respect your right to have ugly dreads and smoke weed. Don’t try to censor me, you DREADLOCK GESTAPO. Why don’t you do some mushrooms and open your mind up further so you can see that you’re censoring my free speech? Peace and love, baby. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, I hate white people with dreads too. Especially ones that wear FISHNET, do coke—like, it doesn’t make any sense. Either you’re a revolutionary or a cokehead. Which is it? Make up your mind. [BLEEP!]

M This rant is in response to the idiot who was ragging on cable TV. Listen, idiot, local cable television provides lots of jobs and it gives people a place to talk about local issues. SATELLITE TV doesn’t give a fuck about Montreal’s local culture. If you think Montreal doesn’t deserve to have representations in media, then move to Toronto. And as for you little comment about election coverage, well maybe if you went to an election, your city wouldn’t be falling apart and we wouldn’t have to read all these horrible letters talking about how shitty our democracy is. So instead of just ragging on cable TV, why don’t you think a little? Think for yourself instead of just letting satellite TV define your idiot little world. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M NVP here. You know, I’ve always been the target of SCHOOL BULLIES but I learned to fight back with my mind, with my mind. I’ve delved into religion, history, politics, psychology—you name it, I’ve read it. I’m not trying to sound pretentious, but I’ve learned a thing or two along the road. I’ve always been skinny, you know, a WEAKLING, the target for school bullies. I love my metal, I sing too, but intellectual content has always been a big part of my life. My friends tell me I look a lot like Geddy Lee. And I guess I do—when I look at my picture, I do. I’m not saying that that’s really a compliment, but the bottom line is we do need a revival of intellectual, moral and spiritual values. Because do we want to burn like ROME? It doesn’t have to happen. I’m not a fatalist. Things can change. [BLEEP!]

M So if you’re a Rush fan and white with dreadlocks, I think you should be careful these days. Like, HIDE out or something. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, I just want to say thanks to all the women in this town for wearing the sexy TIGHT PANTS that they’ve decided to wear. The only problem is that you big beautiful women can stop wearing long shirts to hide up your nice beautiful bodies. Thanks. [BLEEP!]

M Alright, so who actually wears Guess clothes? Those BILLBOARD GIRLS, they don’t exist. Nobody wears those clothes. [BLEEP!]

M Hey Rant Line™, this is my rant. I’m standing in a fucking URINAL in Bar Concordia Reggie’s bullshit and I’ve got some stupid-ass university kid pissing right next to me, looking at my cock. Staring at my dick. And that’s what I ain’t cool with. Motherfucka! [BLEEP!]

F Hi Rant Line™. Two things on the subject of boobs. Firstly, my boyfriend has MAN BOOBS and I love them. They’re soft, welcoming, beautiful, a little bit hairy. They’re just everything I could ever ask for in two beautiful little packages. Secondly, if you look in the Escorts section under Bodylicious Escorts: luscious ladies for your every desire, there’s somebody named Toni. She has a wonderful face and beautiful titties but the picture is extremely awkward. It really looks uncomfortable, like she’s trying to UNBUTTON her pants yet the focus is clearly on her boobs. So I don’t know exactly what’s going on there, Toni. [BLEEP!]

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