BATHING BEAUTY

Tip of the day: If a man approaches you wearing a lady’s swimsuit and tells you to “look at this,” turn away. It ain’t the way to enlightenment that he’s trying to show you. In Oklahoma City, OK, a woman learned that the hard way with a bit of help from Phillip John Ortega.

Police say Ortega, 56, wearing a women’s one-piece swimsuit, stockings and make-up, approached the woman as she sat on her porch and asked, “Where’d my friend go?” The woman told Ortega to beat it. Instead, he yanked his swimsuit to the side, gave himself a wave about and said, “Hey, look at this.” Clad as he was, it didn’t take police long to catch up with Ortega, who immediately told officers that he didn’t wave his penis at anyone.

One more tip: Before denying police accusations in precise detail, wait for police to make the accusations. In Ortega’s case, police had yet to mention any penis waving.

Already on probation for a 2007 attempted kidnapping charge, Ortega was taken to the county jail where he remains in lieu of bail.

by SCOTT SAXON