ALLAH’S INTERNS

Beware! The next bit of fertilizer found on a White House intern’s blue dress won’t be the sort spurted from a tubby Southerner’s insatiable half-staffer, but the sort usually packed tight into a rental truck. This is the dire warning being sounded by House Republicans demanding an investigation into what they say is a Muslim plot to destroy the U.S. from within.

Reps John Shadegg (AZ), Paul Broun (GA), Sue Myrick (NC), and Trent Franks (AZ) have accused the Muslim civil rights group CAIR of placing intern/operatives in sensitive offices of governmental power to spy and destabilize. As their evidence, the four cite Muslim Mafia: Inside the Secret Underworld Conspiring to Islamize America, a book co-authored by P. David Gaubatz, a man who has called Barack Obama a Muslim crack head, and claims to have personally found Saddam Hussein’s WMDs while in Iraq.

“If these people weren’t so hate-filled, it would be laughable,” said CAIR’s Ibrahim Hooper, who has received death threats since the four made their allegations.

Federal officials say they haven’t received a formal letter requesting an investigation, nor offered an answer as to what they’d do if they got one.

by SCOTT SAXON