by SHANE SINNOTT

Forrester Research, a market research company based in Cambridge, Mass. (“providing pragmatic and forward-thinking advice to global leaders in business and technology”), has released a “Music Product Manifesto,” outlining “product features that will save recorded music.” The report costs $499, but the gist is readily available online—music companies have to “radically overhaul” their product to create an entire user experience of customizable crap that goes far beyond simply selling downloadable tracks. There’s a flowchart example here: tinyurl.com/ydgq3fm.

Basically, the idea is that “buying” a record should allow you to access videos, participate in forums, create and share remixes and a whole bunch of other ADD stuff in addition to simply listening to the songs. And it is this attitude, friends, that gets stuck in my craw. When did we become a nation of babies that need access to “on-demand live footage” and the “social profiles of other fans” to think buying a record is worthwhile? Have we forgotten that music is about sound waves stimulating the muck between our ears? Grow the fuck up, people. Stop saying you want more “content” with your music purchases. Music, in 2009, should simply be way, way cheaper than it currently is—not coming with more stuff. Anyone who needs more than a pair of speakers and maybe an intoxicant to enjoy music is a fucking moron.

Meanwhile, in case you’ve forgotten or haven’t checked in awhile, the Bolachas blog (bolachas.org) is, somewhat inexplicably, still alive and well. If you, uh, haven’t been reading this column much, you might not remember that Bolachas is a real simple blog where this dude just puts up entire albums that have just been or are about to be released. This week alone has new records by Dead Man’s Bones, the Editors, Broadcast, the Focus Group and Air.

Finally, head over to tinyurl.com/yea9ov7 for a few mash-ups of Marvin Gaye and Jay-Z. I’m not a huge mash-up guy but “Girls Let’s Get it On” is a great example of the form. And for the decidedly un-mashed-up live version of “Cut Your Hair” by Pavement—who have announced they will be playing live again within a year!—go to tinyurl.com/y8srcyj.