|
Dear Sasha, After six delicious years and countless orgasms, my Magic Wand has finally expired. With the economy the way it is and landfills teeming with the detritus of peoples’ private lives, I cannot afford to get a new one—but I do think it can be fixed. It seems to be something to do with the cord because if I jiggle it a certain way, it will sputter back to life, albeit sporadically. Do you have any idea if this can be repaired and how much it might cost?
—Looking for a Magic Solution
Dear Looking,
The good news is that it can be repaired. I have had two cack out on me under similar circumstances (one of them actually exploding spectacularly where the cord meets the vibrator and taking out power in two rooms of the house) and now both are mended and in perfect running order. You’ll just have to find an amenable small appliance repairperson in your area. Don’t be discouraged if you phone tradespeople and they behave as though you’re crank calling (and welcome to my world every time I consult a business generally unrelated to the sex industry)—if you’re persistent, you’ll find someone. I spoke to Reg of Reg’s Appliance Service just to get an idea about price and willingness. Reg says he would happily do a repair such as this but only if you purchased a replacement cord through the original manufacturer—a request you may run into with other repair people too. “You don’t want to try to patch another cord onto it or be soldering and taping a cord,” he warns, “you really don’t want to get a shock when you’re using something like that.”
Reg himself charges 50 bucks an hour and suggests you order your own parts given that, if he or any other repairperson has to order the cord, you’ll likely paying for their time. He estimates it would take less than half an hour to do the repairs so that bit would cost you around 15 or 20 bucks. Global Electronic Supplies is where you’ll want to order your replacement cord and you can do this by calling 1-800-668-8776. The part number is HV 250R907 and, with tax and shipping, it would cost you around 25 bucks. Altogether, you’re looking at $45, a saving of around $30 if you decided to go the retail route.
Whatever direction you choose, one way to keep the cord in good shape is to not wind it around the vibrator itself, which twists it unnecessarily and compromises the wiring, but to simply bundle and tie it off below the vibrator.
Dear Sasha, I’m rather shy and lacking in the experience department. I was much more interested in sexual theory when I was a young teen so I figured the summer would be a great time to gain some practice as well as some cash. I’ve been eyeing the classifieds for a while and I’m beginning to consider the “massage” ones—the ones perpetually hiring girls between 18–35 for “relaxing and soothing massages.” Would you recommend trying it? What can I expect, keeping in mind that I have very little sexual experience? Is it simply a euphemism for prostitution or would I administer real massages to men who just like to fantasize without happy endings?
—Midnight Masseuse
Dear Midnight,
I’m wondering how you could have possibly taken an interest in sexual theory without having gleaned, from the pantheon of sex trade worker memoirs crowding the women’s studies and sexuality shelves of every bookstore, any practical information about this particular niche of the sex trade. For God’s sake Midnight, pull your head out of your Judith Butler and get with the program. Of course there’s some kind of sex involved in relaxing and soothing massages performed by women in their idealized prime. What were you thinking? That you (an unqualified masseuse, let’s not forget) would be paid to knead strangers everywhere but there while they revealed their sexual fantasies to you? And anyway, how would this help you, except once again in a purely theoretical way, garner any serviceable sexual experience?
The sex industry, in all its manifestations, is certainly an interesting place to learn about sexuality, but in order to acquire that knowledge, you do have to participate. It’s called a rub and tug, after all, not a rub and pry.
Got any questions for Sasha? E-MAIL: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM
|
