BOOZED
AND BOOKED

As in any other line of work, the career criminal is expected to make mistakes in his early years. Mistakes like carrying a wallet with photo ID or trying to make a body unrecognizable using lime the fruit rather than lime the chemical. Lessons learned. But one of the more crucial things to remember is that success should only be celebrated after fleeing the scene undetected. For two liquor store looters, failure to follow that rule has cut their careers short.

Keith Cullen and Paul Wiggins were no doubt proud of themselves when they finished hauling about $1,300-worth of booze out of a Swansea, Wales, liquor store in the dead of night. So proud, they thought they’d celebrate with a drink. Why they didn’t turn to their own robust supply is a question they’ll ask themselves for years. Instead, they went back into the store and drank until they passed out. When police arrived the next day, the two were still sprawled in alcoholic slumber.

Though both were convicted of burglary and theft, neither was present to hear it. Cullen arrived to court too intoxicated to partake, while Wiggins wandered off mid-hearings.

by SCOTT SAXON