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Dear Sasha, I’m interested in working as a phone sex operator from home. Can you recommend some busy agencies that pay well or a directory? I’ve tried Google but it wasn’t helpful.
—Hanging on the Telephone
Dear Hanging,,
It’s been a long time since I’ve known anybody actively doing this job but one of my pals who did phone sex at its height in the mid ’90s shared some interesting insights. Just to begin with, despite the fact that the business was brisk when she was working, it wasn’t necessarily hyper profitable for the workers. Ten bucks an hour was considered a good wage doing shifts in a call room. Working from home, you would be paid by the call, which was higher, but also meant you might just get a couple, making it one of those gigs that worked well in conjunction with other home-based freelance sex labour (tappity, tap, tap: “Angelica’s pussy was a moist grotto of desire” ring, ring: “Hello? Oh yeah, devour me, you big bad wolf!”).
You’re looking at a dying business, Hanging, and my pal credits a few things for killing it. “From what I witnessed, calls dropped off when the Internet started exploding. In the early days, our clients were often already tech types who gave up this more archaic method of getting off in favour of connecting online. It’s a lot of work to think about someone on the other end of a phone line; in a way, it’s a more active way of getting off. Now people want, and can have, their fantasy online with the girl they’ve had to work to imagine in their head.”
There are no longer rows of ads in the back pages of weeklies, and the couple of phone sex companies that do advertise are more dating lines, making all the profits themselves by hooking up friends, not pros and clients. sluttycanadianphone.googlepages.com no longer seems in service, and the one company I did manage to reach online (85centphonesex.net) was out of the States and had no freelance operators locally. Our conversation went a little like this: Me: “Do you have any Canadian girls?” Operator (clearly gobsmacked over what this wacky fantasy might entail): “Um… no.” I would have loved to hear someone in Tennessee try to play that one out, mind you. “Ya’ll comin’ yet, EH?”
Dear Sasha, My relationship with my boyfriend has been going great. We care a great deal about each other. However, he falls into the category of premature ejaculator. I honestly never had a problem with it, we just had sex more than once a night and I was always satisfied.
Recently we’ve been rushing all the time (my mother has been hospitalized) and barely have time for each other. And when we do, it’s only for a short period of time before we go to sleep, so we only have sex once, which means neither of us is satisfied.
He’s starting to get really upset about it now and feels inadequate and trying to tell him otherwise doesn’t help much. We are still very close to each other but I don’t want something so stupid to break us apart. What should I do?
—Just Fine
Dear Just,
You’ve got a recently hospitalized mother on your hands, and rather than say, “Baby, I’m really sorry your mom isn’t well, that must be so stressful for you,” your boyfriend is giving you grief over his dick? Tell him to get off your hole. Seriously, he’s lucky he’s getting any pussy at all, never mind one that’s caring enough to hold his cock through what is no doubt an already traumatic time.
Your sex life is going to be compromised for a while and you and he need to just relax and let that happen while this new phase sorts itself out. If he can’t put his penis aside for one moment and support you through this, you’ve got a real problem on your hands for sure. The lovemaking is undoubtedly a great way to get your mind off a crisis but if it’s only adding to the stress, then you’ve got to step back or change up how you’re doing it. Snugs, massages and making out should be on the top of the menu right now.
Got any questions for Sasha? E-MAIL: POULEDELUXE@YAHOO.COM
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